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An Alternate All-Stars

2020.09.25 01:22 Picochu_ An Alternate All-Stars

I decided to work with what I perceive to be some of All-Stars´ rules: 7 ROTI competitors, 7 Gen 1 competitors, same challenges, same idea behind the teams, but a lot of changes
Heroic Hamsters: Owen, Leshawna, Courtney, Cameron, Zoey, Mike, Anne Maria
Villainous Vultures: Heather, Duncan, Gwen, Alejandro, Lightning, Scott, Jo
1. Heroes vs Villains
-Ezekiel isn´t there at all, so he doesn´t have to suffer more than he already did
-Gwen objects to being a villain, but Courtney just yells at her that she stole her boyfriend
-Heather slaps the robot
-The contestants actually change into their swimsuits because there is no reason for them not to
-Scott, Jo and Lightning arm wrestle for the driver´s position, and Jo manages to win
-Courtney just decides that Leshawna should push the stroller, surprising everyone
-Lightning and Jo form an alliance on the way to the spa hotel
-Leshawna finds it extremely hard to push her stroller due to Owen´s weight
-Scott accidentally pushes the robot into the water, and Alejandro is revealed to have been in it the entire time
-Alejandro then manages to get the right key and wins it for the Vultures just as Leshawna finally with her stroller with Owen, who has the wrong key
-Anne Maria, Cameron, Mike and Zoey receive a marshmallow
-After the waiting time, it is revealed that Courtney and Leshawna are also safe, and Owen is eliminated due to his weight costing them the challenge
-There´s no Flush of Shame, it´s just the Dock of Shame again
-Lightning is put on Boney Island
2. Evil Dread
-Gwen and Duncan are making out at breakfast while Scott eats his fine, fine meal
-Heather yells at Alejandro because he can´t use his legs
-Lightning returns from Boney Island and compliments his muscles, causing Heather to hit him in the face with a shovel
-Courtney steals Zoey´s idea because she has nothing better to do with her life, and they begin working
-Heather and Jo fight over leadership of the Vultures, and Cameron finds a hat so Manitoba can help the Hamsters
-Both teams then quickly find their first pieces
-Heather realizes that Alejandro really can´t move his legs and feels horrible
-Alejandro flirts with Gwen, who manages to resist his charms
-Scott steals one of the Hamsters´ pieces and hides it under the podium of the Vultures´ statue
-After everything, both teams are revealed to have not enough pieces, due to Lightning not counting correctly and the Hamsters needing more time to search
-Both teams continue searching for their last piece, but Lightning finds the Hamsters´ piece under the podium, which alerts them of where it is
-Zoey quickly snatches the piece and throws it to Courtney, who finishes the statue, winning invincibility for the Hamsters
-Alejandro, Duncan, Gwen, Heather and Jo receive a marshmallow
-After the waiting time, it is revealed that Scott is also safe, and Lightning is eliminated for accidentally helping the Hamsters and miscounting the pieces
-Anne Maria is put on Boney Island
3. Saving Private Leechball
-Gwen tries to convince her team to work together while Heather and Jo continue to fight over leadership
-Duncan decides that he´s done playing fair
-Heather and Jo both come to Gwen to agree with her about teamwork in order to lure her into an alliance
-Alejandro then suggests that Gwen should lead their team in order to get Gwen into an alliance too, while Scott´s just out there, living his best life
-Anne Maria returns, and Cameron, Leshawna and Mike reveal that they brought food from the hotel with them for her
-Zoey helps her team with her acrobatic abilities, causing Courtney to feel threatened
-Gwen has the big brain idea and the Vultures manage to get the bigger crate
-Alejandro, Heather and Jo all agree to Gwen´s idea, shocking Duncan
-Courtney hides with Anne Maria while the others go fight so they aren´t shot
-Svetlana comes out for the challenge
-Svetlana manages to shoot Alejandro while Heather, Jo and her fight about who should go with Gwen
-Jo accidentally shoots Scott, which Heather scolds her for, before Mike manages to shoot her, too
-Jo heads off to shoot Cameron as revenge for last season while Duncan and Gwen head off together, too
-Duncan and Gwen fight because Gwen wants Courtney to forgive her, and Leshawna tries to shoot Duncan, but is shot by Gwen before she can do so
-Cameron shoots a leech at Gwen, which Duncan takes for her before Jo shoots Cameron
-Gwen thanks Duncan before she is shot by Svetlana
-A video message from Lightning taunts Jo about eliminating him
-Jo shoots at Courtney, but Courtney uses Anne Maria as a shield, before Zoey manages to shoot Jo, winning it for the Hamsters
-In confessionals, Heather reveals that she´ll vote for Jo, Jo reveals that she´ll vote for Heather, and both Alejandro and Duncan state that they´ll vote for whoever Gwen votes for
-Alejandro, Duncan, Gwen and Scott all receive a marshmallow
-After the waiting time, it´s revealed that Jo is safe as well, since Gwen decided to eliminate Heather due to her actions in Island
-Cameron is put on Boney Island, and Courtney and Duncan switch teams
4. Food Fright
-Anne Maria, Cameron, Mike and Zoey throw Duncan a welcome party
-Scott flirts with Courtney, who is disgusted by the food
-Duncan admits that he enjoyed the cake in a confessional, but then states that he´s only acting nice so he can manipulate the other Hamsters
-Gwen apologizes to Courtney again, but Courtney just pushes Gwen down the stairs as response
-Scott is an idiot and continues to flirt with Courtney, so Jo decides to support him so he would join her alliance after Gwen informs her that their alliance was only a one-time thing
-Anne Maria vomits after finding out that she just ate fish eyes
-Alejandro, Cameron and Scott beat the course
-Gwen pukes on Duncan, but he still manages to beat the course, but he also sabotages the machine
-Cameron goes to check up on Duncan since he has been puked on, and Duncan and him bond
-Mike and Courtney are both flung into trees and die
-Alejandro mocks the Hamsters, and Duncan cheers for Leshawna, confusing her since they aren´t friends at all
-Jo and Leshawna both almost finish the course, but in the end, Leshawna rolls over the finish line first, winning it for the Hamsters
-Scott and Courtney decide to work together, so they are both pulled into Jo´s alliance
-Courtney, Jo and Scott all receive a marshmallow, surprising Gwen and Alejandro since they both voted for Jo
-After the waiting time, it´s revealed that Gwen is safe as well, eliminating Alejandro, since he has been more competent in the past, and Jo doesn´t want to lose Courtney because Alejandro charmed her
-Scott is put on Boney Island
5. Moon Madness
-During the morning, Duncan reveals to Mike that he knows that Mike had went to juvie once, and that he´ll tell Zoey if Mike doesn´t work with him
-Duncan then reveals that Zoey hates juvie rejects, scaring Mike
-Zoey is confused after seeing Duncan talk with Mike while Leshawna is trying to ask her to join an alliance
-Courtney sees Scott Bird and realizes that she does like him before Gwen tries to apologize to her once more
-Scott returns and Courtney calls him cute
-The Hamsters get a map, and the Villains get meat tails
-The Villains decide to follow the Heroes, but after Duncan realizes that Gwen would be eliminated next from her team, he breaks Cameron´s glasses so his team would lose
-Anne Maria are accidentally split from the other Hamsters, so they bond
-Duncan apologizes, lying about how he couldn´t see anything, and Cameron quickly forgives him
-An alligator acts like a dog and Scott decides to take it with him as a pet
-A gang of bunnies attack Scott, but the alligator protects him and the Villains get the lead
-Duncan, Cameron, Mike and Zoey decide to stay together, while Duncan convinces them that Anne Maria and Leshawna are in an alliance
-Courtney and Gwen joke around, and Courtney finally does consider forgiving Gwen
-Duncan decides that he should cause his group of four to slow down, so he just pretends to scream after seeing a ferocious bunny, so they run into the other direction, where Anne Maria and Leshawna are lost
-Mike realizes that Duncan is trying to get them to lose and points out that they need to turn around
-Courtney, Jo and Scott make it across the bridge, but Gwen decides to go around before Courtney destroys the bridge
-Gwen runs into the Hamsters and realizes that she needs to hurry up, so Duncan trips Anne Maria, lying that Gwen had tripped her
-Courtney is attacked by a deer near the finish line, and Gwen decides to save Courtney instead of winning, so the Hamsters manage to mostly cross first, however, Duncan shoves Anne Maria out of the way so Gwen and Courtney can cross the line before her
-Cameron realizes that Duncan had tripped Anne Maria, but Duncan convinces him that he saw it incorrectly because of his glasses, and the Vultures win
-Cameron, Leshawna, Mike and Zoey all receive marshmallows
-After the waiting time, it is revealed that Duncan is safe, too, and Anne Maria is eliminated for losing the challenge
-Scott is put on Boney Island again, and Gwen and Duncan make out
6. No One Eggspects the Spanish Opposition
-Leshawna fixes Cameron´s glasses for him, and he accidentally tells her about his alliance with Duncan
-Gwen and Courtney bond a bit, while Jo wonders who she should eliminate next
-Duncan accepts an apple from Zoey, but he tells her that he´s still a bad boy
-Zoey and Mike talk, and she tells him that she thinks Duncan might really be a nice guy, to which Mike just awkwardly laughs
-Cameron grows increasingly suspicious of Duncan after the last episode
-Scott returns and complains that there is no Chris Head, so Chris puts the challenge where the Head is
-Scott falls asleep, after which Duncan laughd at him, though he still helps him up, making Zoey smile
-Courtney and Scott hug
-Cameron decides to stay at the egg basket to guard the eggs while Jo does the same
-So, Duncan and Leshawna partner up while Mike and Zoey do the same
-Meanwhile, Courtney, Gwen and Scott form a group as well
-Mike and Zoey treat their egg hunt as a date, which they are both happy about, even though Zoey suspects Mike is lying to her again
-Mike and Zoey get an egg while Jo finds an egg near the egg baskets
-Duncan tells Leshawna that he´s incredibly hurt after Cameron convinced Mike, Zoey and himself to vote off Anne Maria, surprising Leshawna, after which the two find another egg, and Duncan asks her to vote for Cameron
-Mike and Zoey´s egg explodes while Cameron tries to warn them about Duncan, confusing Zoey about who to trust
-Mike and Zoey find another egg right after, so the Hamsters have 2 points while the Vultures only have 1 point
-Courtney and Scott hold hands and blush before they are attacked by a mutant gopher, which Courtney manages to kill it, earning an orphaned egg
-Gwen splits from Courtney and Scott and finds another egg, and the Chris Head
-Mike and Zoey find a nest full of eggs
-Duncan and Leshawna bring another egg, and Chris reveals that he cried while taking the eggs from its mother, making Leshawna angry
-However, while Mike and Zoey carry the nest full of eggs, Jo steals the nest, winning it for the Vultures
-Leshawna, Mike and Zoey all receive marshmallows
-After the waiting time, it´s revealed that Duncan has received the most votes
-However, Duncan reveals that Gwen gave him the Chris Head, and Cameron is eliminated instead
-Mike is put on Boney Island, and Duncan is confused since Mike and Leshawna should have voted for Cameron
7. Suckers Punched
-Courtney, Gwen and Scott eat together and decide to form an alliance
-Duncan talks with Mike to find out if he voted for him, but Mike says he voted for Cameron, and when Duncan asks Leshawna, she says the same
-Duncan convinces Zoey that he didn´t wanna vote for Cameron, but Mike threatened him
-Zoey asks why Mike would ever threaten Duncan, and he reveals that he knows that Mike had been to juvie, but he makes Zoey promise not to tell Mike he told her
-Duncan has to fight blind mutant gophers, but fails to do so
-Courtney has to fight Courtney, so Chris makes Courtney fight Gwen instead, but the both refuse to fight
-So, Chris shows Courtney all the times Duncan and Gwen kissed, and the two of them start fighting and bond, so Chris gives both of them a point
-Leshawna has to fight a bear, and she manages to beat it
-Jo has to fight Fang, and manages to win
-Mike has to fight Sasquatchanakwa, but fails to win
-Scott has to fight Izzy in a spider costume, and manages to beat her
-Zoey has to fight a helpless bird, but refuses to do so, so the Vultures win
-The Vultures can vote for who goes next, so Mike and Zoey both get a marshmallow
-After the waiting time, Duncan is revealed as safe, and Leshawna is eliminated for being the only one who managed to beat her enemy, and thus being a bigger threat
-The Hamsters send Jo to Boney Island
8. You Regatta be Kidding Me
-Courtney and Gwen spend some time together, while Duncan is left worried because he doesn´t know if he can trust Mike, and he´s lost his only other option, which was Leshawna
-Zoey tries to compliment Duncan´s graffiti by calling it a cute bunny, but Duncan is upset by this because it was supposed to be a skull
-And then, the teams merge, and the ones who are in the merge are: Courtney, Duncan, Gwen, Jo, Mike, Scott and Zoey
-Zoey reads tarrot cards, but can´t read tarrot cards, so she´s thoroughly confused
-While Mike is trying to start his boat, it doesn´t work for a while, frustrating him so much that Chester comes out
-Duncan tries to manipulate Courtney and Gwen by telling them about Mike, but they simply don´t believe him
-Jo gets a boat, Courtney and Gwen get a ship, and Mike takes the Boat of Losers
-Duncan, Scott and Zoey take a raft
-Mike manages to get first place for most of the time, while Chef destroys Courtney and Gwen´s motor, upsetting Courtney so much that she throws part of the motor at Chef
-Duncan uses Scott to make Fang push the raft, scaring both Scott and Zoey
-Courtney beats the motor to death, but Duncan catches a stick of dynamite and throws
-Zoey decides that the only way to see if Mike is a juvie reject is to put her life in danger, so she puts a stick near piranhas and gets on that stick
-Mike then quickly turns the Boat of Losers around to save Zoey, and the two kiss
-Courtney manages to steal the Boat of Losers´ engine and uses it on her own boat
-Scott manages to escape from Fang and yells at Duncan, who doesn´t care, since he views Scott as Courtney´s new boytoy
-Jo is angry because her engine isn´t starting, while Courtney and Gwen are quickly approaching
-Jo manages to touch the buoy with her nose, winning invincibility
-She takes Duncan with her to the spa hotel in order to get him into an alliance with her
-During the elimination ceremony, Courtney, Gwen, Jo, Scott and Zoey all receive a marshmallow
-After the waiting time, it´s revealed that Mike has been eliminated with 4 votes against him due to Duncan
-Before Mike goes, he tells Zoey that he really was in juvie, and Zoey decides to keep dating him
9. Zeek and Ye Shall Find
-Jo realizes that Gwen and Duncan together could become a threat soon, so she tries to convince Zoey to vote off Gwen, since Jo has an alliance with Duncan
-Courtney falls on Scott and accidentally kisses him, after which the two decide to start dating
-Duncan convinces Zoey that Jo forced him to vote for Mike and apologizes, and she decides to accept the apology
-Ezekiel captures Chris and all the food, scaring the final six
-Courtney and Scott go together, while Gwen joins Zoey, and Jo and Duncan go together
-Team Scottney goes into the cave through the exit while Gwen and Zoey jump into a hole and Jo and Duncan go in through another exit
-Zoey calms Gwen down from her panic attack, and the two bond
-Jo decides that she must break Scottney up and orders Duncan to help her kiss Scott so she can do that
-When Zoey´s flashlight doesn´t work anymore, she is taken away, freaking Gwen out
-Jo kisses Scott and then runs away with Duncan, so Courtney and Scott fight before they are taken, too
-Scott and Courtney continue fighting with each other while Zoey sits in the cage, scared for her life
-Gwen decides to just escape the cave when she runs into Duncan and Jo, after which Jo decides to split from the group
-Gwen tries to stop her, but she leaves Duncan behind when she does, and Duncan is taken away as well
-Jo uses Gwen as Zeke bait while she goes to get his gun
-After Ezekiel spits at Gwen, he is shot by Jo, who wins invincibility
-During the elimination ceremony, Courtney, Duncan, Jo and Zoey all get a marshmallow
-After the waiting time, it is revealed that Scott is still safe
-In a confessional, it is revealed that Jo rigged the votes to get rid of Gwen
-Right at the end, Ezekiel is taken away by medical professionals so they can make him human again
-Jo chooses Zoey to go to Boney Island
10. The Obsta-Kill Course
-Scott tells Zoey about Jo kissing him due to feeling down that his relationship with Courtney has ended
-Duncan thinks that he´ll surely be targeted soon, so he decides to try to incriminate someone else if he gets the chance
-Courtney, confused about how Gwen was eliminated, finds a lot of votes for Gwen under Zoey´s bed, and gets mad at Zoey because she thinks Zoey rigged the votes
-Scott is shown eating dirt because he´s sad
-Scott says it´ll be easy, so Chris forces everyone to wear heavy backpacks
-Courtney reveals to Duncan and Jo that she thinks Zoey may have rigged the votes against Gwen
-Duncan tries to convince Scott to join an alliance with him, but Scott doesn´t fully trust Duncan due to Duncan letting him be shark bait
-In a confessional, Duncan reveals that he knows that Jo eliminated Gwen unfairly, but that he can´t just bully her like he bullied Harold because that´ll make him a bigger target
-Zoey and Duncan manage to get to the rope section at around the same time, where Duncan asks if she booted Gwen, and Zoey reveals that she voted for Scott
-Duncan then tells her about what Courtney saw, and Zoey is surprised, but also points out that there´s no reason for her to hide the votes under her bed afterwards
-Zoey and Duncan finish the rope-climbing part just as Courtney, Jo and Scott start it
-Jo tells Scott about what Courtney saw as he´s being electrocuted, which makes Courtney even more mad at Zoey
-Duncan really wants Jo to get the boot next, so he clings to her during the snapping bars segment
-Jo and Duncan then both fall into the water
-Duncan tells Courtney that Jo kissed Scott in order to split Scottney up, so Courtney goes to talk with Scott
-Duncan asks Scottney and Zoey if they´ll vote for Jo, and they all agree to do it
-Jo gets to the zip-line first, but Duncan and Zoey work together, and Duncan jumps at Jo, so Zoey manages to win invincibility
-During the elimination ceremony, Courtney, Duncan and Zoey have all received a marshmallow
-After the waiting time, Scott gets a marshmallow as well, and Jo is eliminated
-As thanks for helping her in the challenge, Zoey takes Duncan with her to the spa hotel
-Courtney goes to Boney Island, leaving Scott all alone
11. Sundae Muddy Sundae
-Zoey and Duncan decide to take the other into the finale if they win
-Courtney reveals to Scott that she doesn´t trust Zoey, thinking she has a cutthroat vibe to her
-In the confessional, Courtney expresses her belief that Scott would just throw the final challenge for her if he could, and that Duncan would most likely do the same, so she wants Zoey gone next
-Scott awkwardly flirts with Courtney, after which Duncan shows everyone a chart Duncan made: Scott gets 4th, Zoey gets 3rd, Duncan 2nd, and Courtney 1st
-He blames the chart on Courtney, however
-Scott is mad because she drew him with a rat tail, while Courtney is left confused about what had just happened
-In a confessional, Duncan reveals that he doesn´t care who goes into the finale with him, as long as it´s not Courtney
-Courtney tries to get Zoey to join an alliance with her, since she´s lost her only ally because of the chart Duncan made
-Duncan manages to get his sundae´s ice cream first, and Courtney and Zoey get theirs not long after
-While Scott continues to struggle with getting the ice cream, Duncan and Courtney quickly get their cherries
-However, when Zoey is almost attacked by an alligator, Duncan saves her, ruining his sundae in the process
-Scott finally arrives as Zoey and Duncan leave the swamp
-Courtney gets the nuts and quickly runs to the next destination
-Duncan, Zoey and Scott also manage to get the nuts together
-Courtney gets the chocolate sauce and decides to burn what is left of it so she would have the best sundae and win, since she needed it after the fake chart reveal
-Scott just takes dirt instead, but when Zoey finds the burnt chocolate, the fire breathing plant decides to breathe fire on her
-But before it can burn her, Duncan covers her, getting burned in the process
-Courtney manages to win the race, but it´s then revealed that it´s not a race, but an eating competition
-Scott manages to finish his sundae first due to his love for dirt, though Courtney is a close second, even though a bird threw up on her sundae, and Duncan is unable to finish his sundae
-During the elimination ceremony, Scott and Zoey both receive a marshmallow
-After the waiting time, it´s revealed that Courtney got the most votes, but Duncan will be eliminated anyway due to his serious injuries
12. The Bold and the Booty-ful
-Zoey is shown worried about if she´ll get into the finale due to Scottney having been a thing, but she then calms herself with the knowledge that Courtney will most likely go next because of the chart she mad
-Courtney must find a picture of Chris in his cottage, Scott must find a diamond on a ship Fang is on, and Zoey must find a Gilded Chris Award somewhere on the island
-While she is searching through the cottage, she realizes that there must be footage of her saying an elimination order different from the chart in the camera room, so she goes there instead
-Scott is unsure of what to do due to his fear of Fang while Zoey is lost about where she could even find the Gilded Chris Award
-Courtney manages to find the scene after a few minutes and puts it on a DVD to show to Scott
-Scott, even though he is afraid of Fang, decides that he can´t let this fear control the results of this season, so he builds a trap for Fang that is supposed to capture Fang so Scott can get the diamond
-Zoey decides to just look in Chris´ cottage, where she doesn´t find anything
-After making the DVD, she goes to get Scott, who struggles with his trap due to it needing two people
-Zoey looks through the kitchen, but still finds nothing
-Courtney gets on the boat to show Scott the DVD, but after seeing what he´s doing, she decides to support him
-Courtney helps Scott get the diamond before getting him to come with her to the camera room, where she shows him that the chart had been faked
-Scott then decides to get back together with Courtney and help her find that picture of Chris so the two of them can be in the finale
-After a while, Zoey finds the Gilded Chris in a cave at around the same time Scott finds a picture of Chris in the cottage, due to most of them having been locked up in a huge safe
-Courtney, Scott and Zoey all make a run for it so they won´t be last and get auto-eliminated, but Zoey manages to cross the finish line first, with Scott being a close second
-Courtney is then eliminated, but she leaves with a boyfriend, and her dignity intact
13. The Final Wreck-ening
-Alejandro, Anne Maria, Cameron, Courtney, Duncan, Gwen, Heather, Jo, Leshawna, Lightning, Mike and Owen all return to watch the finale
-Scott gets Courtney and Alejandro as his helpers
-Zoey gets Mike and Heather as her helpers
-Alejandro suggests that they pole vault across the toxic moat, and Scott does so first, after which his two helpers quickly follow
-Zoey then decides to copy their idea, which Svetlana helps her with
-Scott is left wondering about what he should do as Zoey takes the ladder she just used to climb up as a bridge to cross the lava moat, though the bridge burns right after
-Scott uses a pogo stick Chris had put near the moat to get to the third level, where he crashes into Zoey, sending them both into the pond as Heather finally gets to the lava moat, where Alejandro and her decide that they don´t care about the money anymore and just need each other
-Mike and Courtney cheer Zoey and Scott on as they get to the fourth level, where Chef is shooting at them with his meat gun
-Either Scott or Zoey is shot by the meat gun, and whoever isn´t, wins Total Drama All-Stars
-The winners´ partner goes to congratulate the winner, and the runner-up´s partner goes to cheer the runner-up up
-And, one last time, all 14 All-Stars go onto the Boat of Losers and depart from Camp Wawanakwa as Chris announces that he´ll have another season on a new island soon
Placements:
  1. Owen
  2. Lightning
  3. Heather
  4. Alejandro
  5. Anne Maria
  6. Cameron
  7. Leshawna
  8. Mike
  9. Gwen
  10. Jo
  11. Duncan
  12. Courtney
  13. Zoey
  14. Scott
submitted by Picochu_ to Totaldrama [link] [comments]


2020.08.14 21:00 The_Ginger_Man64 My (M24) very happy relationship with my gf (F24) ended abruptly and I need advice on how to proceed.

EDIT: People, why downvote? I'm looking for advice, not karma. If you don't wanna read, keep scrolling :)
Disclaimer: I will refer to her as gf and not Ex-gf not because I still us as being a couple or imagine my own reality, but because frankly it took me far to fucking long to type this and I'm not gonna go through the whole thinf and change it in every single instance. She is currently my Ex.
My relationship ended two weeks ago.
By now I feel like I have processed what has happened (and potentially led to the breakup happening in the first place) enough that I can approach it with some distance, without being overly emotional and biased in what I tell you. I've talked about what happened at length with people I trust and I'm in a much better place now emotionally than last week or even two weeks ago. I no longer wake up missing her every day and just wanting all of this to have been a bad dream, but rather I#m ready to move on. In theory. In practice, I have come to realise that I value her too much to just I'm not looking for confirmation or trying to put the blame on anybody, just asking for advice, insight and ideas on how to proceed. Now of course my account will inherently by biased, but I will try my best to relate everything as fairly and neutrally as possible.
Btw, this will be a looong post. I recommend reading through but I will try to provide a TL;DR at the end. The details are important in my opinion. Thanks in advance for reading through the whole thing.
Okay, so some exposition first: We've been together almost exactly for two years, ended shortly after 2yr anniversary. I had thought we were going strong and never expected it to end the way it did, but more on that later. When we initially began dating, she was the one that wanted to have a relationship (to put a name on it so to say), and I agreed, under two conditions. Now this might sound harsh, but hear me out:
1) TALK WITH ME. If there is anything wrong or maybe something you just need to talk about/get off your chest, talk with me. Could be about the relationship, about us, about problems in bed, about your parents/friends etc. But let me know and COMMUNICATE. IMO miscommunication is the #1 killer in relationships and I've seen so so many relationships fail before their time - that's a mistake I want to avoid. As a couple we need to have each other's backs and this involves good communication, even if it is difficult sometimes. We are partners in more ways than one, and we need to support each other. She agreed and it worked very well for a long time. We had very few conflicts because we solved most of them before they could become arguments and even then, we always tried to solve them together.
2) ME-TIME. Now I'm a bit of an introvert who has learned to deal with people pretty well - in my future profession (teaching) as well as in all my side-jobs so far I've had a lot of contact with people and I have actually come to enjoy it. However, I need time to "charge the social battery" from time to time, so to speak. And when I need me-time, you need to accept that. She is extremely extroverted, bubbly personality and family/friends are very important to her, so that's why I insisted on this rule. When I brought her along to social occasions, I could put her into a room with 15 strangers, come back after an hour and she would have befriended all of them to the point where you'd think she had known them for wayyy longer than she did. Note that in the two years we were together, I made use of the rule 2-3 times that both of us can clearly remember, although she insists it was more often. Even if it was 8-10 times, that's not a lot for the timespan involved in my opinion.
Those two rules worked very well (surprisingly well, honestly) up to a few months ago. We had a very intimate and affectionate relationship with lots of validation (y'know, lots of compliments, love letters, "I love you" and "I feel so lucky having you" etc., you get the drift) almost no issues whatsoever. No jealousy. On the contrary, we even talked about hot friends on both sides and toyed with the idea of a threesome. She even offered me once that I could go have sex with other women while she is on holiday - I didn't take her up on that offer, but still. All in all a very relaxed and stress-free relationship, almost too much so. Couldn't believe it myself sometimes, as I'm far from a perfect human being. Even asked her from time to time of there was anything about me that annoyed her, but up until recently she was never able to come up with something. So of course, the sex was fantastic as well. I was a virgin at the beginning and pretty insecure, but she very frequently told me it was the best sex she ever had. I first thought she only said that to make me feel good, but it was probably the truth: she told me almost always how much she enjoyed it and how good it was, almost always orgasmed multiple times (And sure, you can fake that to a certain degree but not to the extent she would've had to) and was just extremely passionate. Our sex drives were also very similar, there were maybe 3 occasions in the whole 2yrs when one of us turned the other down. I'm not telling you all of this in order to brag and I know it sounds almost too good to be true, but as I said I have calmed down a lot emotionally, so this is not my inner me screaming "Oh woe me, everything was so perfect!". No, I'm telling it how it was. Believe me, I was surprised myself about how easy being in a relationship apparently is, and I was so so in love. As was she, as she didn't get tired of telling me. That does not mean I was not aware of her flaws, on the contrary, but for me her good traits faaar outweighed the negative ones (like her bull-headedness and her absolute refusal to lose weight despite already at her age having had it affect her negatively, in form of f.e. a spinal disc herniation a few years ago, high blood pressure and a history of diabetes in her family). I love her for who she is, not for bowing to my will. For a while she even talked about how she thought I would eventually break up with her because I wanted to sleep with other women, which I assured her I would not. Let me just say that she made me a very happy person and I definitely got the same feedback from her. I even went through half a library worth of texts to see whether I had in hindsight imagined it to be better than it was, but no.
In the end, we broke up after our first real fight. Yes, you read that correctly, it took us two years to have a real fight. Sure, there were especially in the recent months little things here and there, but that was mostly due to Corona and all the stress and stuff it bring with it. Speaking of which, little flashback. She started working full-time in April after finishing her Bachelors degree in March. We had a little bit of conflict around the time the lock-down first came into being: She had been in the US, visiting her sister there and barely made it back to Germany (where we're from) hours before she couldn't come back any more. I asked her whether she would isolate, but she didn't seem to like the idea. She then came to visit me like the affectionate gf she is and because I looked at my phone too late, she was practically already at the door before I could inform my flatmates, which btw had neglected to inform me that they were isolating on purpose so they could go visit some family/bf's family. And I'm not gonna turn my gf away if she is already at the front door. Stupid maybe, but c'mon. I had only moved in like 2 weeks prior, so I didn't know my flatmates very well yet. Anyway, gf came by, we all (4 of us) had a wonderful night with card games and too much wine, and then she left again in the morning after breakfast. Just after she left my flatmates informed me that they had been isolating on purpose and would now have to re-start the 2 weeks isolation. I would have to do that as well ofc, so no seeing the gf or any other people for that matter for any of us. I informed my gf who was a bit pissed but understanding. Saw each other again two weeks later, and BOY WAS SHE LIVID. She had thought that only the two of us had had to isolate and that thereby I had subordinated her to the wishes of my flatmates (both girls btw), which was not the case at all. I made that clear to her and asked her why she would ever think that I would do such a thing, why would I put people I barely know above her (besides a pandemic going on) and why hadn't she asked for clarification? No real answer. Some days later she told me that she had lost her "rose-coloured glasses" (the feeling of being madly in love) and was starting to see my faults. I was like "wow, I'm actually impressed you were able to keep them for so long” - almost 2 yrs at that point. But we talked and moved on, or so I thought. I think in hindsight this incident was important. During the next few months the relationship continued like normal. I was a bit lonely due to not much social contact, played video games too much and maybe smoked a bit too much weed, but she never complained about it. She never brought any of it up, so I figured it didn't annoy her. On the contrary, she got herself a Nintendo Switch so we could play stuff together. I was suffering a bit from isolation (and a good friend basically ghosting me, its not nice when people important to you suddenly disappear) and so was she probably, but all in all we could have done worse. Or so I thought. As soon as lock-down eased (May/June here in Germany), she went into “i have to visit everyone”-overdrive and made sure to visit ALL the friends and family. I accompanied her sometimes and sometimes I didn't, never seemed to be an issue though. She definitely was more exhausted than she used to be and we spent less quality time together overall, instead often being together with friends/family instead of just the two of us. I was a bit worried that she was exhausting herself too much, but I planned on bringing the issue up when the two of us were on vacation together (1st week of August, our first real trip) when she would have time to relax a bit.
Last tidbit: How we deal with our respective past relationships is wildly different. I'm on good terms with my Ex (yay to sexless relationships i guess?) and still see her once or twice a year. It's important to me because in my mind there is a reason we fell in love in the first place and the best way to deal with pain in my eyes is to work through it, and that we eventually did. Except if something really bad happened, I could never not contact that person again after the healing process is complete on both sides. Now that does not mean I still have feelings for her or low-key tey getting back together with her, not at all. I even introduced my gf to my Ex-gf so she could see there is nothing to be afraid of, and both took it well, with no jealousy. She on the other hand, for reasons we'll get to, never contacts her Ex. Ever. And she tries to bury all of it as deeply as she can. Maybe not the healthiest approach, but hey who am I to judge.
On to what actually happened: So we had been attending a multi-day film festival, sleeping overnight at a family her family is friends with. Festival was okay, nothing exceptional, the family was very nice though and I grew to like them pretty quickly. They let us stay till Monday, so my gf did some home-office work and we then went back to the city we live in. I wasn't able to really get any work done for Uni (I'm a student) because my shitty laptop wouldn't even open Word. We got back and had our anniversary that day, which was absolutely lovely – because we are both big fans of podcasts, she had made me love letter in form of a voice-message, which she played from her phone. Very very sweet overall. Maybe I splurged a bit more money on her than I needed to but hey, I love her so its alright I guess. Sex was amazing as well (important later) and she stayed till Tuesday about noon. I spent the rest of the week between the gym, working my part-time job and doing my uni chores, of which there were quite a few. So a pretty hectic and stressful week. She texted me on Thursday, basically telling me that she had planned for us to go have dinner with a former colleague of hers which she still hangs out with from time to time. I wasn't in the mood and tried to get off lightly, but she wasn't having it. Her signing me up for social events was something I had meant to bring up with her anyway as it annoyed me - I mean she could at least ask me beforehand, I don't do anyone present a favour if I'm being dragged somewhere I clearly don't want to be. She insisted and I was annoyed at that moment, so I did something that I shouldn't have and have always tried to avoid: Have the discussion right then and there, over text. One could probably tell I was pissed, but I still tried to lay out clearly for her that I needed time for my own and that I don't consider a former colleague to be as important as actual members of her family (father, sisters etc.). And I had always, always made time for those occasions, sometimes even cancelling work although I really could have needed the extra money. Also I let her know what I think about being dragged everywhere. She didn't text back. She called my the next day though, and we talked. I tried to lay out my POV as clearly as possible, but she didn't budge a millimetre. We had always been able to find a compromise despite her being a bit bull-headed at times, but she didn't give an inch. So I told her that I think this is overall a pretty minor issue (big mistake) and don't want to be dragged to everywhere, not if I don't want to and that I (surely) don't need to accompany her to everywhere, from said dinner with a colleague to the birthdays distant relatives etc. If we went everywhere, we would end up barely having time for the two of us on the weekends and with her working a full-time job, time was pretty sparse as it was. I even pointed out that I had not seen my own family for longer than I had hers, but tbh I only visit them every few months anyway. I'm not as big on family as she is. I don't even know what my exact wording was any more, but she took it as "I don't even want to know your family". Which simply isn't true, I love her family, they extremely lovable people and had at that point taken me in like one of their own. She basically broke down crying and told me that I had just broken her heart. I was a bit confused. Sure, it was our first argument but in my eyes, a compromise wouldn't be difficult to find. She proposed we meet up two days later (Sunday) for a coffee though, and I was like "that's my gf how I know her, lets talk this through face-to-face when the tempers have cooled": And she can have a hell of a temper if she wants to, but that's a reason I like her. So far, so ordinary, right?
Well when I opened the door on Sunday, she was on the stairs, completely in tears. Barely got a word out, handed me a book I had lent her and then made to turn around and go. I was shocked. After a lot of hugs and crying i convinced her to at least come inside - it looked like she wanted to break up, lets not do that on the stairway, please. We then talked for 3+ hours and her main points were:
1) She said she does not see any compromise between my wanting my own time sometimes and her wanting to drag me to every family/friends occasion. She again said thet EVERYTHUNG, be it a dinner with said colleague or family birthdays etc habe the same importance or value for her, which I still find weird. So we need to break up because she is not going to budge and neither does she want to impose her will on me.
2) She does not think people can change, so no matter what we do this issue will keep popping up and we wont be able to solve it. So she'd rather end the relationship now. Funnily enough, we have definitely changed each other quite a lot over the past two years.Most importantly, she does not want to limit my freedom.
I was dumbfounded. Blind-sided. I had absolutely not seen that coming. My world had just turned upside down. I had never, ever questioned the relationship and I had never had vibes from her that she was. Sure, things weren't as rosy any more, but that's normal and something every couple experiences and needs to work through, right? I had spent the days seeking advice from some friends, telling them what had happened and sending them screenshots of the text messages, asking them to tell me whether I had been an arsehole, and for advice. Some said I hadn't handled the situation well, so I had been prepared to apologise for that and to make clear that I like her family and just don't want to be dragged along to every little thing if I don't feel like it. I expected us to be able to talk about this like adults, as we had done many times previously, but I hadn't expected to be broken up with. Y'know usually couples break up about problems that they simply cannot solve, not about something that really comes up for like the first time. I could see that she was really struggling with the situation, she had apparently made her decision but it wasn't easy on her. After running my head against a figurative wall for about 2 hrs, asking her why she would want to just throw away 2 yrs of good memories and a very well-working, loving relationship (to which I didn't get a real answer) and more along those lines (I tried freaking everything I could think of) and a LOT of crying (also important later), I finally managed to convince her that I simply had not realised how far her concept of “family” extended and tried to show her that I interacted completely differently with my family. I also attended (state-funded) boarding school from ages 10-18, so I was pretty much out of the house from that age onwards – not exactly conducive to a tight relationship with your family. But she was not interested in discussing and finding a compromise, she was basically only there to tell me that we were breaking up. After a LOT(!!!) of work on my part she softened up and in the end she stopped crying and we cuddled, kissed, made up. We still hadn't found a compromise, but I had shown her that our positions were not non-negotiable and that we could work on that. She had to go anyway (had some other stuff scheduled), so we separated for the time being. She even apologised and said she was sorry, but not what for. I thought I had just barely managed to save my relationship and was still wondering where the hell such an extreme reaction to a very solvable problem had come from. I decided that it's not enough to just talk though, so I wanted to show her that I was willing to respect her needs of me accompanying her.
I paid her a visit the next day at her workplace – due to Corona she rarely ever has enough to do to fill out the eight hours, and I just came by from time to time to have a coffee together. Everything seemed normal, except that she said she was sorry for the “slap on the wrist” she had given me the day before. Now the her workplace is not the best place to have a discussion about that (again), but I thought that had been quite a bit more than a “slap on the wrist”. I had barely escaped nuclear annihilation, or so I thought. We met again on Wednesday, where I joined her and some recent friends of hers at a Hookah bar. It was a nice night, but she was weirdly distant towards me – she is usually very affectionate and cuddly, albeit not in public. We did have (pretty bad, which was rare) sex that day and I thought we were on the way back to normal. Didn't really talk about the whole thing though, as we were never really alone. She had to head out early the next day for work, so no talking there either. And now it gets weird again: We saw each other again on Friday, she came to my place and I had cooked. Then had a lovely night with again probably too much wine playing a board game with one of my flatmates. I had hoped for some tipsy action, but she didn't want to – weird but hey, happens right? I was a bit annoyed, but hey I was tipsy and horny. I then asked her if everything was alright, and she tried to breach the subject again – I told her that neither of us was in a condition, drunk as we were, to discuss that properly. So we didn't. Maybe a mistake, I don't know. I was worried because I had thought we were on the road back to normal; now ofc we would still have to talk about the whole thing in-depth but the opportunities just weren't right: workplace, in public, drunk, not circumstances in which you should discuss your relationship.
The following week she was at her parents, working home-office again. We texted and although she seemed a bit distant, she also said that she was pretty busy which I thought was only fair – she had to organise a graduation party for her sister, for example. We called on Wednesday and it was, again, nothing out of the ordinary. Even if we had tried to talk about the elephant in the room, she had mentioned before that she was on the way to a friends house, so it's not like we had hours. We had planned to go on vacation on the 1st of August, so I took the train to her on Friday and she drove me from the train station to her parents' house. Now usually she and I can talk for hours on end without all the topics being exhausted, but she barely even acknowledged me and didn't kiss me, either. Bad sign. The whole day went on like this, it felt like we had been a divorced couple for years. Her dad was gone but her Mum was there, because she doesn't really like the friends her husband was hanging out that evening – and inside I was like “see? It's definitely not something in the family. They seem to managed pretty well and don't need to go everywhere together”. We went to bed and she was as far away from me as physically possible. I mean tbf it was sweltering, but as I mentioned usually she is extremely affectionate and cuddly and loves physical contact. After ten minutes or so of this I got up, switched on the light and told her we need to talk - I would not go on vacation with her if we treated each other like divorced people. I asked her whether she loved me, to which she answered that she wasn't sure. We then had the long-overdue discussion, only that she was back to square one, but minus all the emotion. Not a tear, nothing, she looked like she was debating a Math problem with me. She said she didn't feel anything any more when we kissed, didn't want to sleep with me any more (as I said, she was pretty much constantly horny beforehand) and just wanted to end the whole thing. So I tried everything I could think of (again) – you know, even if we put aside love and sex, she is just an incredibly funny person and when we had our first date, we just clicked immediately and it had been extremely smooth sailing from there on. To make an already far too long story slightly shorter, we slept in separate beds that night after I had told her that either we find a way to fix this (and I was more than ready to try, she wasn't ready to budge at all and didn't even really seem to listen to what I was saying) or I take the train back home tomorrow. She was completely unemotional, which i can't say for myself. She also added that she couldn't forgive me my comments about her family, but again my attempts to ecplain that I had said that in anger and that I do like her family fell on deaf ears. Well, I took the train.
I broke the news to her parents in the morning after barely sleeping that night. As mentioned, my whole world had just come tumbling down in the space of two weeks, and I still had no idea why. Both were shocked, as they had basically come to treat me as their future son-in-law at that point and I' a bit ashamed to say that her mother cried more that day than she did. She eventually came down as well and just asked me whether I had already told them. No explanation, no nothing, proceeds to sit down as if it's just another lovely Saturday morning, chatting and even offering to drive me to the train station, which I declined firmly. This went on until I left, her just pretending there was nothing extraordinary about her mother sitting there crying and our relationship having ended over... well, what exactly? That's the same woman btw that just two weeks prior had told me how much she loves me etc. I tried talking to her again, but ut was same same. I then asked her if there were any other reasons or if she had cheated or even if she just wanted to say anything to me about the time we had haf together, but she didn't. Completely emotionless and cold. So I after saying goodbye to her family (not to her though. Petty maybe, but my patience has limits) went home, or rather to a friends birthday as to not be alone. I tried not to be a party-spoiler, but given the circumstances that wasn't easy. I sent her some last messages asking her to send me the voice-love letter she had played for me at our anniversary, and after not wanting to send it initially she said she had already deleted it. Photos of us from her instagram (I don't use insta) were also gone. Now at this point, before you read on, I' like your opinions. Because my up to this point very happy relationship had just ended, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.
Made up your mind? Lovely, because you can rest assured that I was trying to wrap my head around what had happened. And I had a bit of an epiphany two days later when talking with a friend of mine who I value very much for her people knowledge and who is also currently in her psychology masters (dunno if that makes her opinion more valid, it is what it is): Maybe traumatic experiences in her past had caused her to react so explosively. And suddenly, a lot of stuff began to make sense. Now ofc I don't know if this is actually what happened, but so far it is my best guess and explains so so much. Before me, she had had one serious relationship, and it was bad. Okay, actually more abusive than just bad. Like, he was a general dickhead and treated her very badly. Her not knowing any better she tolerated it for far longer than she should've and eventually ended it after he had basically succeeded in cutting her off from ALL social contact including her family, so he could have her for himself. This is onne of the reasons why she is so close with her family and friends, she never wanted that to happen again. She had told my some stuff here and there, but I had never pressed the issue because if you've had traumatic experiences, it is better to open up about them when you feel ready – but I told her that she could talk with me about what happened whenever she wanted. In addition, her father had been diagnosed with Diabetes on July 1st. Not a severe form, but she was worried. We talked about it but I didn't think too much about it, as he was still well and she didn't seem too concerned. However, in retrospective i realise that this might have sent her motherly/protective instincts to new heights, and hers had always been high to the point where she apologised sometimes for playing “mum” a bit too much towards me.
Well my theory is that those two things (and maybe a third which we'll get to) came together, stuck in her mind and made her only see the negative things. What do I mean? Look, as I said for a long time she couldn't for the life of her find any flaws in the relationship, and told me over and over again about how happy she was and how easy it was with me, especially because she had had bad experiences beforehand. So when her rose-coloured glasses came off in March (the Corona-incident, remember?), she then started to see more and more flaws and who knows? Maybe, just maybe the fear formed in her mind that I was on the way to become like her Ex. Now Corona-time wasn't easy on either of us (as I mentioned) and I definitely let myself go a bit, but as I said she never even brought it up that my behaviour annoyed her. Now when I said “I don't want to get to know your family and get dragged along to everything” - which I'm still sure I did not say in that way, I meant her extended family like cousins and stuff - when I was angry, that was all she could think about from that point on. I was in her mind on my way to doing to her exactly what her Ex had done, and that was a pain she definitely wanted to spare herself. In her mind I was trying to drive a wedge between her and the family I had “admitted” to not liking – which is frankly ludicrous, I love her family and having to say Goodbye to them for probably ever hurt like hell. If she had thought about it rationally she probably would have seen that, but I don't think she did. Buried personal trauma which makes it way to the surface has the effect of not making rational thinking... easy, lets just say. So she went into protector-mode: Either she cuts me out of her life or the traumatic experiences of the past repeat themselves and I will eventually try and separate her from her family again. At first, this was far from easy for her and she struggled a lot, I mean she cried more than I had ever seen her cry when we first talked on Sunday (when I managed to convince of of not ending it, or so I had thought). But even then I just barely managed that, and her decision had already been made and in the following two weeks, her resolve only became stronger. Why? I don't know. Why didn't we talk again after Sunday? Well I told you, situation just wasn't right. Why didn't she make time available if it was so important to her? I think she had already made up her mind, and the rest was already decided. During the breakup (at her family's house) she told me again and again that I'm important to her and that she knows how unfair this might seem to me, but that this would not change her mind. She'd had two weeks to come to grasps with the fact that she wanted to end the relationship, which in on the day as much time as I've had to get over it since the breakup. So she had plenty time to think, and despite everything she decided to leave me.
The third factor is pure speculation, as I have absolutely zero evidence for what I'm about to say. It concerns her best friend, and as in so many relationships that best friend was a bit of a touchy subject, and she made it very clear from the get-go that I could only ever be the second-most important person in her life, with her best friend (also 24F) coming first. I was fine with that and tried to be on good terms with her because in my mind thats the person that, if she really wants to, can really really sabotage our relationship. They live together and I would usually go to their apartment because its closer to where my gf works, so I was there often. However, she never really warmed up to me. Dunno why, but the most I ever got was being accepted and tolerated because I'm her BFFs boytoy, and the worst were snide remarks here and there. Ofc, my gf absolutely adores her and would believe her word over mine, so not much I could do. I never got the impression she particularily liked me though. Her own relationship ende shortly before ours, on the weekend when we were at the film festival. I would not go so far as to say she then saw the opportunity to ruin our relationship, but ofc my gf would have asked for her opinion and I really doubt she was neutral or tried to make her see my side, being bitter about the end of her own relationship as she likely was. But as I said, all speculation and I could be completely wrong.
Because I know it will come up in the comments: No, I don't think she was cheating on me. I cannot be entirely sure ofc and her spending like 2-3 evenings a week in that hookah bar definitely made me a bit suspicious, but I think I would've noticed earlier and also the only real emotiom she showed me when we broke up while at her parents house was shock and surprise when I asked her if she had cheated on me. So its entirely possible, but not likely.
In the end I think that all of those factors together, but most prominently the traumatic experience with her Ex came together and caused her to snap, to not see me as her bf with whom she could talk about everything and work out conflicts, but as her abusive Ex 2.0 – which would explain why she didn't even listen much of the time, she just saw me as something threatening her and her family being happy together and that had to be removed. Am I correct? I'll probably never know. Does this make it easier to live with because I understand what maybe drove her to such an extreme reaction? Yes. Emotions, especially ones that you buried deep down and were trying to forget tend to come to the surface in the worst possible moments. Am I still disappointed because I had thought better of her, and shocked that it ended the way it did? You bet.
I have gone no-contact since the breakup and done a lot lf healing in the last two weeks and I feel like I have mostly moved past the whole thing. I don't wake up and feel like crying any more and there are days when I barely think about her at all. I feel healed, because I (think I) understand why she did what she did. However, I have decided that I want to try and get back together with her – not because I can't imagine a life without her or because I idolise her (hey, that bull-headedness of her has caused me some trouble earlier when trying to convince her to work out, but I think that post is still somewhere in my post history so if you're interested go stalk me i guess), but because I am very aware of the positive and the negative aspects of the relationship and for me at least the positive ones weighs far heavier.I think if I tried I could pick up other women relatively easily and I could probably soon find myself in another relationship, but thats not the point. When love comes, it comes and I will enjoy it – there are too many positive things life has still in store for me to forever be sad about the outcome of this one relationship. BUT. I know that I will forever regret not at least trying to mend things with her, to get back together. I have a plan on how to do this, but you've already read for long enough. I’m not really convinced that it will work because as I said, she is very... strong-willed and once she has decided on something, she does not go back. But I will try because I think we had something wonderful and if there is any chance to salvage that before I move on to a potential new relationship, I will try to do so. Any thoughts or advice on how to proceed from here?
Thanks so much for reading 
TL:DR Had a very smooth and stress-free relationship which was nothing short of awesome in pretty much every regard, until it ended very suddenly over a minor issue. I'm kinda shellshocked but have healed as well as I could in two weeks and am ready to move on, but have a lot of unanswered questions. I still want to try and get her back, but please read for priper info :)
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2020.06.04 22:08 Brock_Drinkwater [Bright Lights, Dark Hearts] - Part 2-13

We pulled into my building’s parking lot. There were no other cars in the lot. I was just starting to feel good about the situation, and that feeling lasted all the way to my office.
“This is me,” I said, and opened the door to the outer reception room. Vic Kimura with his nose bandaged, and two young, lean and vicious looking thugs in training in expensive suits were sitting there. They had chromed magnum automatic pistols in their hands and mean smiles on their faces.
“Hey fucko,” Kimura said. He looked glad to see me. That would make him the first in a long while.
“Where’s your big friend?” I said.
“Shut up. I’m asking the questions here.”
“Do we really have to do this tough guy thing right now?”
“I said shut up! And I don’t need him to shut down a chump like you.”
“You seem a little wound up buddy. Why don’t you relax a bit? Take a load off and chat like people,” Jimmy said in his easy voice, laid back like a surfer.
“You better hit the bricks, you and your boytoy. My business is with McGrath, and I only bought one body bag with me tonight.”
“You just here to talk tough Kimura? I’ve had a long night. Lets get this over with,” I said.
“Oh, its about to get a whole lot longer,” Kimura snarled.
“So what? You gonna kill him or work him over?” Elliot Black said.
“What?” one of Kimura’s associates said.
“I’m confused. First you say you’re going to kill him, whatwith the body bag and all. And now you say his night is going to get longer, which implies you’re just going to beat the shit out of him. Which is it?”
“You’d better scram or else you’re going to find out with him,” Kimura said.
“So then it’s an ass kicking right? You can’t stuff three dudes in one body bag. Maybe two if you make them 69, but not three. The stack is too thick in the middle, you can’t get the zipper shut.”
“I think he’s just making it up as he goes along,” Jimmy said.
“Boys, kick these jokers out. Come on McGrath,” Kimura said motioning at the inner door with the muzzle of his pistol. It must have been at least half an inch wide. I patted my pants pockets down for keys. Then I patted my jacket down and started going through my pockets one by one.
“Stop stalling,” Kimura said, poking my back with the pistol. “And don’t think of going for your heat. My trigger finger is faster.”
I sighed and unlocked the door with my DNI. I already felt betrayed by my buzzer, I must have ignored it in all the excitement. This was not one of my better nights. I would have to do better if I got another. I went around my desk and sat down and lit a cigarette and watched the door close. The reception room was small enough, and with Jimmy and Elliot flanked by a couple of wannabe hardmen with big guns and small brains it seemed especially packed. Jimmy gave me a smile and a wink as the door shut. It didn’t seem to bother him.
I had just started to take a pull on my cigarette when Kimura whipped the barrel of his magnum across my face. It hurt. I tasted blood.
“Come on Kimura, drop the act. If you were going to shoot me, you would have by now. If you think I’m going to fold just because you managed to get your little hands on a big heater that you wave around like the first ape who figured out how to use a bone, you’re sorely mistaken.”
He hit me again. It didn’t feel any better this time.
“Listen here you fuck, do you know how hard it is to build a reputation around here? I’m busting my ass, day in and day out and what do I have to show for it? Some cheap private dick, this caricature of a gumshoe disrespects me. Takes my offer straight to the competition. How does that make me feel?”
“Are you going to waste my time talking about your feelings? Or are you going to get down to business?”
“Motherfucker you had best start respecting me or else I’ll burn you down.”
“Oh god, please shoot me if you’re going to talk about respect all night.”
He jabbed a finger at my chest and opened his mouth to dispense more insight when my office door opened. Jimmy stuck his head in and said:
“Hey dudes, these guys out here, they kinda just broke.”
Kimura wheeled around and trained his pistol on him. Jimmy stepped through the door with an easy smile and his hands in his pockets. He looked like he was walking along the water on a hot summer day in a TV show. Elliot Black followed him into the room, ever the brooding sidekick. Behind them in my reception room were two very still figures lying on the floor.
“Don’t worry, they’re not dead,” Jimmy said. “I think.”
“Now I don’t know who you think you are,” Kimura said, pointing the pistol at Jimmy’s chest, “but you better not come any closer. I’m surgical with this here piece. I don’t miss and there’s seven shots and only two of you.”
Jimmy smiled a broad movie star smile. Beside him Elliot Black wore a savage scowl, his shoulders hunched forward, muscles taut like a snake preparing to strike.
“Anyone who packs that much gun is either planning on a shootout with HunteKillers or compensating for something,” Jimmy said, still smiling. “And besides pencil dick, you’re locked out of that thing.”
He was right. The green LED’s on the frame had winked out and were glowing red. Kimura noticed as well and held the big pistol in front of his face in confusion. Elliot Black slipped across the room with a quick boxer’s step and hit him square on the jaw with a strong cross and faster than I could blink followed it with a short hook to the body that sounded like it broke bones. Kimura was flung against the wall, his head cracking against the sheetrock, and he began to slide down slowly. The pistol made a heavy thump as he dropped it on the carpet. Elliot Black kicked it away and held him up with one hand and threw a heavy bodyshot with the other. I could hear the breath burst from his lungs. Elliot Black dropped him and he curled into a ball on the floor.
A fist pounded on the other side of the wall.
“Hey, some of us are trying to work here!” my neighbor slurred.
“Sorry,” I called. “I’ll keep it down.”
“You better!”
Jimmy picked the pistol up from the floor and ejected the magazine. The LED’s switched green. He let out a whistle at the large cartridges.
“Nasty, nasty, nasty,” he said, clicking his tongue. He racked the slide back, sending a round thumping onto the carpet. “Fifty cal. Bigger than you are pal.”
“Alright, get up,” Elliot Black said. “You better scram and take those dimestore tough guys out there with you. If you aren’t gone by the time we’re done talking with McGrath, my partner and I will put those bullets into you by hand. Do you understand?”
Kimura looked up through tearing eyes and nodded.
“Okay. Fuck off.”
They watched him get up on unsteady legs and stagger out of my office.
“You didn’t actually kill them, did you?” I said.
“Oh, who can remember,” Jimmy said. “So look, we heard you were looking for a bear. That’s funny, because we are too!”
“I’m dying of laughter,” I said. I sat back in my chair and lit another cigarette. It felt good. Warm and comforting. I fished a handkerchief out of my desk and dabbed the blood off my lip.
“The way we figure, this is a big city, and us PI’s gotta band together. Pool our resources, you know?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know about this job, and I don’t know about you two. I work alone.”
“Yeah, and we almost saw how well it worked out for you,” Elliot Black said. “Twice in one night.”
“And I’m grateful to both of you, I truly am,” I said. I opened my desk’s deep drawer. “Drink?”
“I’m good. Jimbo?”
Jimmy the Brick shook his head. I shrugged and poured myself a stiff jolt. It stung the cuts in my mouth.
“Who hired you McGrath?” Jimmy said. “We playing the same side of the field?”
“You know I can’t divulge any information on a client. I’d never work in this town again.”
“She a blonde? About five eight? Great knockers, baby blues, pastel pantsuits, slight drawling accent, talks a bit like this?”
That was Ms. Gray to a T. I kept my mouth shut and poured another drink.
“Well, that’s our lady,” Elliot Black said.
“She sounds wonderful,” I said.
“Look McGrath, I think we can accomplish more together than we can racing against each other,” Jimmy said reasonably. “We can pool our resources and find this lady’s stupid bear. Collect our fee, split the bonus three ways. And if you want, we can go our separate ways. I think it’s pretty clear this case is turning into something bigger than a treasure hunt, and we can help each other unravel it.”
“I appreciate it fellas, I do. But I was hired to do this job and that’s just what I’m going to do. She hired me, and me alone.”
“You seem hellbent on doing it your way.”
“It’s the only way I know how to do things. And besides, I gave my word.”
“Hey, I get it buddy. But it’s a fucked up world, and us good guys need to stick together,” Jimmy said. “If it’ll help, you don’t need to tell her we’re working together. She’ll never know.”
“I will though.”
My DNI began to chime. It was Deegan.
“Look fellas, I’m real sorry but I have to go.”
“Go? Man, Blackie, we save his hide twice in a night and he rushes us out the door? What is with this guy?”
“Alright McGrath. We’ll go. You keep on turning everyone down, soon you’ll be completely alone. And there won’t be anyone to save you next time.”
I nodded to them and answered the call. They left.
“It’s done,” Deegan said. “Come on down to 151 South and Martin, on the gangland border. There’ll be two uniformed cars, they’ll escort you in.”
“How did it go?”
“A few shots fired. No one hurt. Well, none of the good guys, at least.”
“I’m on my way.”
Before I left my office, I splashed some water on my face and dabbed away the last of the blood. I made sure I had my pistol and a spare clip of ammunition, and pulled on my coat, then I locked up the office door. The outer sitting area seemed empty and quiet now, devoid of life. Two drops of blood were drying on the carpet, the only sign of combat.
submitted by Brock_Drinkwater to redditserials [link] [comments]


2020.04.29 04:35 tacoma_witt Hotwife fucked boytoy without a condom

A few nights ago i posted about my wife sleeping over at her boytoy's house after her late night work shift. She works 'till about 3 or 4 in the morning and she had arranged for this friend to help her move some furniture to our house. I'm working out of state until i separate from the military soon. Anyway, all through the night, i was sending her sexy posts from tumblr, captions and gifs, etc. Additionally, her friend and another potential boytoy were also sexting her early on in the night. Add onto that she had a very sexy patient who really turned her on. So she was ready to explode.
My wife and I haven't had sex for about a month and a half by this point. And normally we average at least once a day. She she was having some serious withdrawal. She'd met with her friend on several occasions, but due to his penis size, he hadn't been very successful getting into my wife. So it was blowjobs and fingerbanging mostly. She really need a dick inside her and she was itching to get his thick dick in her.
So her shift ends and she drives to his home in Seattle. She sneaks in (he left the door open) and gets undressed and goes to his bedroom. She thought he was sleeping, but when she crawls into bed, he snuggles up to her and she feels his cock is rock hard. He starts touching all over her body and she reaches back and strokes his cock. She then starts to rub her pussy over his dick. It's large enough that it can touch all the places while she goes back and forth. So then it happens that she changed the angle and it just slide right in. It'd never done that any of the other times they'd tried to have sex. He asks if they should stop, but she growled at him and knocked his hands away (yes he told me she actually growled). She proceeded to push herself back on his dick with increasing speed until his dick spasmed and erupted insider her.
She realized instantly what she'd done. And was mortified at her behavior. We'd been playing with other guys for five years by now and this was the first time anyone other than me fucked her without a condom. This guy wasn't exclusive to us. He actually plays around fairly often (prior to COVID at least). She didn't know when the last time he'd been tested. So she felt bad and was unable to orgasm, although she admitted she was really glad to get his dick insider her. So she goes to sleep.
He texts me early that morning to let me know she'd made it to his house ok and we banter about him fucking her that night. He didn't mention the no condom and i tell him how much she enjoys being woken up for morning sex. So a few hours later he wakes her with kisses and caresses and they have sex again. This time she was aware and consciously allowed him to fuck her again without a condom. She said, since he'd already done it once, one more won't hurt anything. Her boytoy records a 13 minute video of him fucking her bareback (i'll be honest, it was highly erotic). He cums before her and he fingers her to a pretty good orgasm.
She texts me after and tells me they had sex without a condom. I was very surprised, she had always been so resolute about condom usage. Even turned guys down who didn't use condoms. So i'm a little torn, that was one of our rules. But I don't think she would have broken it if I was living with her and she had ready/daily access to sex. It was just a perfect combination of raging horniness, tiredness, and whatever blue-balls is for women. So I forgive her. He said he got tested after his last partner three weeks ago and hasn't been with anyone other than my wife since then. But he did say he'd get tested again this week.
So plot twist is that they'd already planned for him to come over tonight to move some more furniture. She also took delivery of our new bed and he's going to help her break it in for the first time. She gave me the option of telling him to wear a condom tonight and I said it'd be ok if he didn't. That said I did give him some requirements as to the videos i want to see tonight. So there's that.
TLDR: Wife was super horny and let her boytoy fuck her twice without a condom. And since they'd already done it twice, i've consented to it happening again tonight. She's going to be visiting me later this week, so he'll be back on condoms when she returns.
submitted by tacoma_witt to CuckoldPsychology [link] [comments]


2020.04.10 14:26 Sparkmane Carrion Swine

This creature evolved on an Earth where humans suddenly vanished and the world was left to advance and adapt without them.
We've talked about rats as creatures evolved to live in our filth and what might happen if they tried to continue that lifestyle without us. These creatures are, ultimately, unsustainable. That doesn't mean that filth is an impossible habitat, however, and this article is about a creature that is doing much better.
Pigs are happy at the bottom of the ecosystem, wallowing in mud and feces, eating everything including leaves, grass, roots, rotten meat, leftover bacon, and the feet of war prisoners. While they are carriers of disease, they're rarely victims of it. They are strong, tough, and fierce, highly adapted to tangle with the deadliest of apex predators. In a fight? The cute pink piggy oinking in its slop would straight-up destroy you. And then it would eat every bite of you.
A modern slaughter pig would be likely to do just fine if it escaped its cage. Pigs are built to burrow and destroy, so most of them could escape rather easily, and what keeps them contained is nothing more than contentment with their arrangement. When the food stops being delivered, the pigs will move on to make their own way.
There are 75 million pigs in the USA today.
The millions of years that have passed since humanity stepped aside have not managed to reverse the prey explosion that ensued. There are still far too many prey animals, allowing elite predators to eat their favorite bits and leave the rest; there'll be another deer or rabbit or giant turkey tomorrow. While the ton-tipping megapredators are ravenous by necessity, smaller killers leave a lot of leftovers. Carrion is no longer a byproduct to be dealt with, it's a vital part of the food chain.
This leaves a lot of opportunity for a tank that eats anything. The tens of millions of surviving pigs were happy to collect this free meat & bone. You are what you eat, so these pigs got big and strong. Like modern pigs, the actual size varies wildly; a healthy sow can be as light as 200 pounds but successful boars commonly approach three quarters of a ton. That's a big pig! In general, a sow will be about 70% the size of a local boar. Dwarf breeds exist in ecosystems that call for them, so Carrion Swine of as little as forty pounds exist on small coastal islands. This article will focus on the general mainland swine, but rest assured; that 40-pound piggie would still wreck you.
All Carrion Swine have the same basic design. The body shape is like that of a domestic pig, with bigger shoulders in females and much bigger shoulders in males. The head is large and heavy, with a sloped, reinforced brow protecting small eyes. The nose is largely unchanged. The legs are still short, but thicker, with loose, leathery skin wrinkled into folds. The body has hair, varying in location and density based on breed, environment, and lifestyle. The hair is curled, like a very dense version of wool; it is coarse and usually filthy, making it abrasive and unpleasant. It is brown in almost all species, but speculative biologists are advised not to get close enough to verify the exact shade. Most boars and many sows have patches of thick, hardened skin making a rhinoceros-like hide armor. Ears are erect, like a wolf. Tails are the most variant of features, with some individuals having long tails and some being completely tailless; while breed affects this somewhat, different tails can exist among a single litter of piglets.
All Carrion Swine have tusks, or so they'd have you think. Piglets grow a pair of curly tusks with their first set of teeth and grow them bigger and bolder with their adult teeth. A boar will grow a second pair of even more wicked tusks in front of his 'baby tusks' when he matures. As I can never write an article where I explain how boar tusks work; a pig's deadliest weapon is the tusks in the lower jaw. These long, straight canine teeth are what it uses to attack the enemy. The prominent curly tusks of the upper jaw have no direct combat application. When the boar closes or opens his mouth, the lower tusks push against the upper ones and are sharpened by the contact. In addition to being several inches long and mounted on a few hundred pounds of easily-offended pork, these lower tusks have a fresh razor edge for each new battle.
The 'baby tusks' are a mutation of the first tooth after the canine. These tusks have no corresponding straight tooth in the lower jaw, and effectively do nothing. They don't continue to grow like the main tusks, only forming a pre-determined shape. Like a snake's slit eyes or a tree-toad's bright colors, other animals have learned that these curly teeth mean death. The ornamental tusks on piglets and sows serve as an empty threat, broadcasting a danger that doesn't exist in hopes that enemies will take it at face value. A big boar having four visible tusks certainly does not hurt his intimidation factor.
As a note: before you go picking on a piglet, modern or otherwise, don't get the wrong idea about those lower tusks. They might not be as big as Dad's, and they may not get sharpened every day, but they are most definitely still there. A piglet or sow has no qualms about ripping into a foe with them & their lack of sharpening only means they're going to hurt more.
Back to tails. A female with a long tail is generally more desirable by boars; spec biologists believe this is because it keeps her, uh, stuff cleaner. In contrast, a male with less tail is more likely to attract females, because they can see his huge hog testicles. It's a double standard that helps confuse the genetics governing the tail. The tail is always straight, at least; curly tails, like in dogs, are an intentionally-bred spine deformity. This doesn't hold up for non-domesticated animals and vanished about as quickly as it appeared. For the pigs, it is something to be missed. In fights amongst themselves, pigs like to bite off each other's tails and ears. Curly tails make this more difficult, and the severing of a tail can lead to excessive blood loss and deadly infection. Conversely, domestic floppy ears are easier to bite, so the Carrion Swine have lost the danger to their ears and returned it to their tails. Fortunately, Carrion Swine tend to get along and infighting is limited.
Carrion Swine are devastating to their environment. They congregate in particular areas, where they eat everything, including any grass or roots that were holding the ground together. Tilling up the ground and relieving themselves everywhere turns the area into a festering lagoon of mud and urine, which is how the pigs like it. Having driven off all other vertebrates, the pigs multiply and the lagoon grows. Over a period of years, the lagoon reaches a size that makes trekking out of it every day a chore, and the hogs split up to find a new place to ruin. The location takes longer to recover than it did to make, but life will eventually return to the salted earth.
Like modern pigs, Carrion Swine do not have brown adipose tissue; that's the fat that keeps a body warm. Without a latrine lagoon to live in, independent hogs dig and defend a permanent burrow to sleep in. With a proper communal mudhole, they can just shove their bodies into the mud wherever they want, insulated and protected by the mud & warmed by their proximity to other hogs. The advantages of this arrangement are countless, so Carrion Swine are usually only independent while transitioning from and old lagoon to a new one.
Lagoons do not have any pecking order or truly dominant member. Carrion Swine have little family units amongst the crowd, and each boar is responsible for his own. A boar will usually have a single mate, though particularly aggressive boars might take two or three and very old ones might have collected a team of them in their lifetimes. Every day, the male leads his family to forage in an area surrounding the lagoon. He leads the family, and his piglets follow him in single file, with their mother at the end. This keeps the piglets well defended; while almost no creature wants to clash with a 500 pound boar, a 300 pound sow is not an attractive alternative, and putting oneself between these two does not select toward survival.
The pig parade is guided around to where Dad sniffs out food. Dad might dig up roots and even kill any easy prey, but he does not eat. He suffers no distraction as he guards his lady and babies. When the family is sated on food and drink, the boar leads them home. Once they're settled in, he heads back out.
The boar will travel outside the radius where his family feeds. He might be alone, he might be conveniently in proximity to some other boars, or he may be officially buddied up with some other boars around his age. This seems to be a personal preference, having little basis on region or breed. Out here in the more dangerous lands, he will forage and even hunt for food. With his family safe at home, he's free to gorge himself four hours on whatever he wants. Huge, armored, mean, and riddled with boar taint, he has little to fear; adult Carrion Swine only have one predator, and what are the odds it'll show up?
If it does show up and dad doesn't come home, Mom has to take over. She'll give him a few days, but eventually will lead her piglets off to eat. She'll take up the front of the parade and she will eat while they do, so this arrangement is much more dangerous. The fake tusks help, but if a predator realizes she's out there alone, it might get bold. Assuming she doesn't get eaten, she'll raise her babies until they leave the nest & then try to find a new mate - most likely a venerable boar who already has multiple wives, but she might get a fresh start if she is not too 'venerable' herself. Unattached adult females head into the 'safe' radius whenever they want for food, and young adult females usually follow their dad around for food until they find a mate.
A Carrion Swine in combat is dangerous from all directions. Simply being crashed into by an adult's heavy body & steel wool body hair can crack bones and tear open skin. The cloven hooves can donkey-kick or trample. Tusks aside, a headbutt from the thick skull can shatter ribs or even snap a forelimb. The dense wool and hide armor deflect fangs and claws, and the round body absorbs impact and is difficult to get a grip on; combined with the short legs, a knocked-over Swine just rolls back onto its hooves. The legs are the place that can be grabbed by jaws, but they're hard to get to & ultimately just a mouthful of loose skin. Did I mention the whole animal is filthy? Any open wound from hair or hoof invites infection and any bite is a taste of the lagoon. This whole paragraph isn't even for the boars, these all apply to fighting a piglet.
Sows will fight to defend their piglets, but will run for the lagoon once the little ones are moving. Piglets, of course, run back for the lagoon the instant a parent signals a threat. In straight lines, Carrion Swine are surprisingly quick in straight lines, and exceptionally difficult to knock over or tackle, so once they're running, the hunt is essentially over. If something does chase a pig into the lagoon, it'll find itself mired in pig shit & surround by unwelcoming, hungry locals.
Boars don't run. Moreso than modern wild pigs, Carrion Boars stand their ground. It might be selected aggression, it might be that they don't like to run, it might be they instinctively know not to lead predators to their home - but some spec biologists have a simpler theory. Unlike a bull or stag or stallion, if a boar kills his enemy, he can eat it. If another boar out on his own hears the sounds of a fight, he'll rush over to join in. This could be some instinctual comradery, or it could be a desire for a share of the spoils.
To further understand how terrible the wrath of a Carrion Boar is, it helps to know about boar spears. A boar spear is a spear for hunting boars. The only difference between it and a spear for hunting other animals is that it has a piece of metal behind the head, reaching out a few inches in either direction. Why? If a person stabs a regular spear into a boar, the boar will push and let the spear impale it, and continue to push until he's close enough to use his tusks. The boar spear's modification is there to prevent this. This behavior is, again, that of a modern wild boar - Carrion Boars have escalated their level of aggression to the same scale other creatures have, and remain one of the most aggressive lifeforms in the new world. A single cross-bar might not be enough to stop a Carrion Boar, and if whatever you have actually stops it, its squealing may attract an ally or two. I'll be doing my pig hunting from a helicopter, thank you.
Boar offense and defense uses all the weapons mentioned earlier, but focuses on the tusks. While not as intelligent as domestic pigs, Carrion Swine are slightly clever. They know their tusks are best aimed at the main mass of an enemy, and they know to bite a leg or bull-rush the enemy if the target is out of reach. Completely lacking in stealth and style, a boar can still line up a decent attack to kill an unsuspecting prey animal; this involves careful positioning and predicting the movements of the prey; definitely preferable to just find something that's already been hunted.
Out on his own, as can be expected, the boar is willing to eat anything short of wood or rocks, but takes advantage of his position on the food chain to be selective. He'll try to sniff out some carrion to dine on, but whether he does or not he'll also look for tasty plants and tubers as well as fruits and nuts and eggs and horrifically oversized beetle larvae. He will eat until he is completely full or until it starts to get dark, at which point he heads home. A feeding boar is safe to be around if a respectable distance is kept. A short personal space bubble of about half his body length is demanded, and, if not violated, the boar will not violate any passerby. Another animal can even feed from the same carrion as the boar so long as they respect his space. He doesn't care; nothing can eat as fast as him, so his share is assured. Sudden movements violate this, and may cause the boar to charge - but, for the most part, a feeding boar is perfectly safe to be around. A boar who is not feeding is looking for food and on the alert for predators, so be very, very cautious around him lest he decide you fall into one or both of those categories.
Romance comes to Carrion Swine in the late spring. If a boar and sow have already mated once, they will usually mate again and not concern themselves with other options. Singletons go through a two-stage process of hooking up. In the early part, boars show off and attract as many interested females as they can. Some prime sows go out and try to get a male to come to them, but most sows simply enjoy the show and congregate around males that intrigue them. The boar will pick a sow from his fans and generally mate with her for life.
When all the prime pork is auctioned off, the remaining sows take initiative to look at the boars who were left behind. This time it is their call; if a sow inspects a boar and rules him good enough, she says "That'll do, pig" and takes him home. The swine who neither give nor receive pity love at this point will try again next year. Older Carrion Swine are more desirable, so their chances increase.
Babies are made, and can honestly come in any number. Litters of over twenty sometimes appear, and some unlucky moms only get one, but they usually have between three and six. This number is ideal because they have enough spares in case some are lost, but not so many they're a burden to raise if none get birdsnatched. Unlike domestic pigs, Carrion Swine are born toothless; the teeth and tusks erupt a few days after birth, much to the benefit of the birth canal. Like modern piglets, they are looking to suckle within minutes of being born, and will squabble to claim a teat. The order in which they suckle will stay with them through weaning, and will continue as the order they follow their parents around in. (If for some reason you ever need to know, the best nipples on a pig are in the back).
The piglets are brown and wooly, fuzzy things not so coarse as an adult. They're patterned with bars and dots to make it harder for predators to spot them. Their heads and limbs are comparatively smaller than those of an adult, and they lack the sloping, armored brow. They're in the running for the cutest thing in the new world, but if you get near them you will be attacked by their mother. Admire from a distance!
Carrion Piglets bite tails, but not with the same intent as an adult. When the piglet is nervous, it will gently take the tail-tip of the nearest pig in its front teeth. It presumes this other pig knows what it's doing and will let itself be towed around in good faith. Usually, the tail belongs to another piglet who is no more confident, and is hooked onto the tail of some other pig. Eventually, one of the pig tails will belong to Dad or Mom, who actually does know what's up, so everyone gets towed to the right place & it all works out. This behavior is common when the pig parade stays out too late or the sky darkens from a sudden storm - the little sausage links stay connected even when they can't see. Of course, if Dad has no tail to speak of, his piglets are more likely to get lost, even further confusing the genetics of tail length.
The boar is a major presence in the life of his piglets. In the mornings he will play with them by chasing them around and flipping them over to rub his snout on their bellies. In the evening he will pretend to sleep and let his piglets try to sneak up on him, only to spring up and scare them away. This takes a load of effort off of Mom, and the evening games help the pigs learn skills they will use to hunt as adults.
Piggly Wigglies Piglets grow quickly and are eating solidish food within a few weeks. Greedy little piggies, they will attempt to keep feeding from Mom for as long as she lets them; it's her job to wean them. Most boars are weaned by a firm hoof to the forehead. The new Carrion Swine will be technically biologically able to breed the next year, and most will be willing to do so, but a pig of that age is unlikely to find a mate. Sub-yearling sows don't have the body mass to support piglets during or after pregnancy and so about half of any that do breed won't bring piglets to maturity. This has helped to breed out boars that are into high schoolers. The more common boars know the truth.
Very successful boars get enormous and most large lagoons have a big guy. Blind and overweight, he'll park somewhere in the lagoon, surrounded by his sows. He doesn't lead them to feed; the sows take care of that themselves. He only gets up to go and eat every few days, during which time he gorges himself. Back home, he uses as little energy as possible. In the event that something invades the lagoon, though, he will defend it for his wives. Rising from the muck like some kind of fecal Godzilla, he makes his appearance just a little too late for the invader to escape.
Hang your coats up, ladies, we're eating at home tonight.
The gender ratio is about one boar per three sows. Sows without mates tend to get picked off by predators when they become too big to follow their parents around. Highly assertive boars will take multiple sows and have piglets with each. When doing the pig parade, each lineage will form its own line side by side. It takes a lot of attitude and a lot of physical giftedness to desire and attain this lifestyle, so a boar trailing two or three rows of piglets is decidedly one to be left alone.
Despite the excess of females, boars can get super, super gay. An overactive sex drive in the first year can lead two unsuccessful boars to take each other as mates and not seek females in the future. Older boars who don't get around as much may find females both too needy and just plain too small to be mates anymore, leading them to select some younger males and groom them as intimate partners. Mated homosexual pairs go straight to the 'good' hunting and foraging grounds, working as a very effective team. The harem-style boytoy boars are less predictable; some may feed with the sows, some may independently go out further, or they might even go out as a group to either feeding area. This seems to depend heavily on their relative age to each other as well as the age at which they 'switched sides', and the age of the big pig & his personality. Homosexuality among Carrion Swine is a topic worth its own article but I'm going to finish the topic with the phrase dirty squealing gay pig mudhole butt sex.
Adult Carrion Swine do not have much in the way of natural predators. While some megapredators might try to kill one they find, they're just as likely to leave it alone. Crag Lions and Greatwolves certainly don't go looking for Carrion Swine. The only creature that hunts Carrion Swine is the Tusked Cat, which is heavily specialized to kill pigs and rarely eats anything else. It's fortunate that these cats exist, because the pigs have the capacity to destroy their entire environment if left unchecked.
Piglets are commonly hunted by smaller carnivores and omnivores. Piglets rarely fight back, so even if they are potentially dangerous, they mostly just squeal when threatened. Depending on the size of the piglet, birds of prey are a major threat. A huge eagle can snatch up a piglet and not have to worry about the parents chasing it down. Quick, terrestrial predators can sometimes snatch a piglet from the parade and be gone before the parents can react. Burrowing carnivores might grab a piglet or small sow if said creature gets near their den. Tree Bullies will attack foraging swine to take what they can grab, weathering minor injuries before getting back into a tree. Additionally, while only the largest of vipers can eat the very smallest of piglets, piglets get bitten by snakes very often as they innocently root around for treats. Lacking the leathery legs of their parents, these bites are fatal. Piglets also fall down holes or into rivers or off of ledges, wander off and get lost, or get separated from their parents by strong winds or flash floods. There is a reason most Carrion Swine birth in bulk.
Mocking Stalkers prey on piglets and sows. This is difficult, as the swine rely primarily on scent, and the Stalkers can't fake that. Stalkers use their superior intelligence to make the families scatter in fear, and then pick off whatever gets furthest from the boar. A single piglet is a fine meal for a whole clique of these robust coyotes, so it is well worth the danger. Gruh-gruhs and Marrows are too small to deal with piglets, and while Makoas have the size and power needed, they're smart enough to find better meals. Poccos seem to have some ethical problem with hunting piglets and only go after lone sows.
Like modern pigs, boars have a 'boar taint' that makes their meat unpalatable to most creatures. This is another one of many reasons that male Carrion Swine don't get hunted, albeit a minor one compared to the tusks, armor, and berserker rage. Tusked Cats don't mind the taste and will happily hunt the big guy. He's quite a meal if you're into it, and the cat can then hunt the boar's wife and kids later.
Lastly, one cannot forget the Dragon Condor. Carrion Boars can choose to give the big bird leeway. The bird isn't trying to eat the pigs, after all, it's just taking all of a big corpse for itself. When a Dragon Condor snatches an entire deer carcass out from under the pigs that are eating it, the pigs usually just let it happen. In some cases, a boar might get angry and fight the giant vulture, but fighting creatures that kill by swallowing you whole is not advised when your body is shaped like a pill.
As you're surely aware, there are many breeds of pig. In the case of Carrion Swine, no particular breed has taken precedent so the swine are rather homogeneous. There are still dozens of breeds scattered across the world, having arisen independent on each continent they exist on, but one is the same as another for all intents and purposes. Carrion Swine can be found anywhere in the new world that isn't too dry (including places that are frozen most of the year). Wherever they are found, they exist in all numbers and in all sizes. If a species can learn to hunt Carrion Swine sows, it'll be successful anywhere it ends up, and just the ability to hunt piglets opens a world of opportunity.
Despite the benefits they provide to some predators, Carrion Swine are a bad thing. There are plenty of other cleanup-critters to do their job & the wild pigs eat more than their share of other food. They do very little hunting and very few of them are hunted as adults, so their numbers are not kept in check or balanced out well. Worst of all are the hog lagoons; huge artificial swamps where plants cannot grow that exist only to protect overpopulated pigs & brew fascinating new diseases. The hogs will make a lagoon, eventually abandon it, and make a new lagoon. By the time they abandon the next one, the prior one may not have begun recovering. Unlike sheep that clear grass so trees can grow, these swine simply ruin the land with no plan for the next resident. They're destroying real estate and if something doesn't appear to put them in check, they could feasibly turn the surface into a wasteland.
Despite how terrible and dangerous Carrion Swine have become, returning humans will ultimately benefit from them. Still pigs, they'll quickly respond to domestication and confinement if the food keeps coming. Catching the piglets and avoiding Tuberculosis 2.0 are challenges we should be up for. Carrion Swine are large, grow fast, and produce a rich, dense meat, as well as providing strong leather & more easily kept foodstuffs like lard and bacon. Eventually we'll be able to pickle their feet.
Domestication pigs means getting them out of the wild. The number of free roaming Carrion Swine would drop rapidly as we hunt and capture them. We might be that thing nature is waiting for to put these guys in check.
Forget eating them, though. Proper domestication and selective breeding can turn that nasty body hair into a fine wool. Soft and light but strong and durable, hog wool would be a major resource for a developing society. A fat hog is an easier shape to shear, and it is much more likely to stand around indifferently for the procedure. The pig is less likely to run away & more capable of defending itself against predators than a sheep. Pigs don't have a strong natural scent like a sheep or goat, so their wool would be easier to process. While sheep certainly have their own advantages over wooly pigs, it's definitely worth considering.
I suppose there's no reason you couldn't raise them as dairy pigs, if you want. Remember, the best nipples are in the back!
submitted by Sparkmane to SpeculativeEvolution [link] [comments]


2020.03.05 09:16 zingingcutie11 My life is in absolute shambles, please offer any advice or insight. My bf (28M) and I (27F) have struggled since he moved across the country to be with me after 1+ year of long distance

***Final Edit: I have made my decision. Thanks to you thoughtful fellow Redditors that gave me several moments of your time and answered me with honesty and tact. I’m so glad I asked for an outside opinion, everyone involved had something to lose or gain and I just couldn’t listen to them anymore. I realize I have wronged J in not standing up for him and having faith in my partner. I have let my friends walk all over us. I’m going to keep him around and tell my friends that they have hurt me, and if they want to stay in my life, we can work through this and that they need to respect my relationship, but they will definitely be kept at an arms length. Thanks again to everyone. I feel the biggest sense of relief, just wow.
Not even gonna do a throwaway because if the people involved in this story stumbled upon it they’d definitely know anyways just because of how crazy and detailed and specific this is 🤷‍♀️ prepare for reading, because I have a complicated novel for you. I genuinely don’t know how to make this any shorter, I feel like every detail is relevant and that’s why I’m struggling so hard. TL;DR is at the bottom (if you can even scroll that far, sorryyyyy) Also, I’m on mobile so I tried to break it up as much as possible. Sorry if it is boring to you but I am begging for any outside source. Someone please read.
So right now I’m sitting in a pretty difficult place, and everything is kind of in limbo while I decide where to go from here. Honestly all I am asking for is some insight and some new perspectives on the situation from completely outside sources. Alright, so where do I start....
Two years ago, I (27F) met an awesome dude named J (28M) while across the country at a festival (I’m in the Midwest, him in the Southwest). We hit it off immediately and I was done for, totally in love. The funny part is, though, that whatever I felt, I swear he felt 10x harder. Just stupidly in love with me.
We do the distance thing for over a year, it sucks and honestly there is some slight jealousy on his end just due to being so far apart all the time (also I’m a bubbly, petite blonde girl that works at a bar, I get it and his feelings are justified) also I feel like I handled it slightly better as well because I was just sooo busy with work I was distracted with my life so much. And he just cared about me so much he wanted to smother me with affection at all times! I will say though, I never ever gave him a reason to doubt me, ever.
Our trust with each other is unshakable. We do get to visit each other about once monthly and it is usually grrrrreat (minus completely normal tiffs and the general stress of being long distance, etc) and our lives are spent talking on our Bluetooth headsets and planning our next trip together.
Our long term plan is that I will soon join him in the Southwest, but I do want to pay off some debt, buy a new car, and of course have some savings to ensure this move goes smoothly and that I do not have to go back home because of finances or anything, and that this is a permanent change.
He makes ok money (not necessarily saving up but making ends meet) and I make slightly better (working straight up all the time and running a full time self owned and operated business as well) ya girl is doing everything in her power to get to him.
However, our monthly trips are obviously cutting into the budget and we JUST WANT TO BE TOGETHER ALREADY. I don’t quite make my financial goals by the loosely-planned move date and decide to stay another season at my busier-in-the-summer jobs.
It sucks, we just freaking want to be living together already. So what we decide, is that he is going to come to me! He can work like I am and we can save money by living together as well. Plus, we are obviously going to save a ton by not flying across the country once a month, and we’re hoping he can try out my server-cash-grabbing lifestyle (as well as help me with my overloaded schedule running my business) and make way more money. We figure we can do this for about a year (aka one busy season and a couple months) and then move back to the Southwest together. Flawless, right?
Well, he moves. It’s a little tough adjusting just because it is such a huge change. Literally just things like the fact that he used to work in a marijuana dispensary, and now he lives somewhere weed is illegal! He gave up his entire life to be with me. He really has nothing except me now. So it’s tough, but we are literally so happy to simply just be together every night that we don’t care. There are of course a few other factors but they aren’t big deals. He has a huge dog that makes the move as well, and they both moved into my tiny apartment. We make it work.
Another huge piece of this story is my roommate, S (30F). She is a great friend and we have lived together for at least over a year now. Definitely one of my best friends, but not in a way that we spend every waking moment together and still have separate interests, etc. We are honestly just really great at living together, being honest with each other, respecting each other, basically coexisting perfectly with just the right amount of hanging out and having fun.
Now, she isn’t super thrilled about a boy and a dog impeding on her living space, but she knows that we love each other and it’ll work out. And by the time J moves into the apartment with us, there is only like two months left on our apartment lease. We plan on getting a house with space so we can all spread out and a nice yard so the dog isn’t constantly on top of us and needing to be walked. Life is goin along just fine, and I finally am not thousands of miles from the love of my life.
Meanwhile, J is a photographer (something he did a ton at home and didn’t happen as frequently in his new home in the Midwest) and gets a gig shooting a show in a town a few hours away, on a night I have to close the bar. But that’s no problem because one of our close friends, B (22ishF), lives in that town and is going to the show! Betsy and I have been super close for awhile, and her and Josh get along great. I trust both of them.
Lately, B and I had had a couple stupid miscommunications and arguments but honestly we were over it. He is going to stay on her couch and they are going to the show together.
The next day, J says everything was good. B texts me “hey!” But of course I am working and don’t really see it til later in the day, after I get home. I respond and then sit down to relax with S. S asks if I’ve talked to B today yet? Nope, just got her text, what’s up? S informs me that B’s friend and roommate that went to the show with them, G (22ishF also), says that J made her super uncomfortable at the show.
He “whispered in her ear, ‘fuck, you’re so cute’ and when male security guard hit on her, he said ‘why’s that guy hitting on you? That’s not his job, it’s mine.’” From now on referred to as Incident #1.
B didn’t interfere at the time of course because G didn’t inform her until now. Well then.
The moment J gets home, we have a conversation. He blatantly denies any inappropriate behavior, and I genuinely believe him. He tells me every single detail of the night. He mentioned that the girls were being extremely detailed in talking about men/hooking up/etc but he swears he only gushed about me and slept on the couch and barely even said a word other than “hi” to G. Honestly things like that are just totally uncharacteristic for him and it just doesn’t make sense, to me anyway.
Basically, this causes a huge argument between me and S and B. It’s nasty and terrible and we are all super defensive and all go about communicating it not very well. I stand up for the man I love and trust, the man who moved across the country for me and gave up his entire life for me.
The story is never really clear besides the words J apparently said, like when I talk to B about it she said “no she wasn’t at all uncomfortable we just wanted you to know.” (Even though the original text was G saying how uncomfortable she was) really none of it adds up but whatever. It’s honestly such an unbelievable shitshow.
But the issue stands, they think he did it, and I think he did not. It ends up opening some conversations between B and I that leads to us being super hurt and mad and deciding to not be in each other’s lives anymore. I fully stand by the fact that this incident did not end our friendship, but it definitely led to some true feelings being revealed that then led to me “cutting her off.” Obviously this causes S to be a less happy with J, but we all mostly get past it and they coexist.
Eventually, we find our house, we move in, I think we are all having a blast and getting along great. Again, I think S is fine with J and they get along, but definitely not becoming as buddy-buddy as I’d hoped (before the allegations of Incident #1, obviously). And he’s not even really like “taking me away from her” or anything because we never spent too much time hanging out as I was literally working two jobs, seven days a week.
Life is definitely not bad by any means. And I’m just so freaking happy to be surrounded by my favorite people whenever I get a moment away from working!
Fast forward a few months, and our friend K (26F) is going through a breakup of her several? years long relationship same age-ish boyfriend.
I should also mention that our house has an extra bedroom. We decided that it would be nice to have the space as a studio/office/spare bedroom, or of course in the situation that a friend needs a place to stay! I wouldn’t call us hippies or anything, but we are all definitely really into music, traveling, festivals, art, pretty much everyone smokes weed (except me), etc, and sometimes we have friends in from out of town and whatnot so we are happy to have the extra room.
Well, K has quite the history. My experience with K is honestly: she is a super fun-loving, spontaneous person, great to be around, so positive and just always a blast. (Example of her: me saying “hey Karl I can see your nipple through that shirt!” Her saying “oh yeah do you wanna see em?!” And flashing me.) Obviously, she is incredibly free spirited and sexual and funny, as well as being ridiculously gorgeous.
But, I also have seen her other sides, the sides that have a problem with alcohol and drugs, that use people (especially men) to basically do whatever she wants in life while literally being fed and clothed by other people.
As someone so hardworking, I’m not lying when I find that super annoying but, hey as long as she is willing to pay rent and be a positive influence in our lives (and this behavior doesn’t affect me), I’m cool with it. Plus, I knew her and J would get along, and her and S are honestly weirdly close.
The other thing about K, though, is that she is literally INTOXICATING to everyone. Like I’m not joking when I say she casts a spell on people and they just drop whatever they are doing to do whatever she needs. For some reason, however, I’m not under this spell and never have been. I love Karl and have a great time whenever I’m around her, but I never let our friendship get more than skin deep because I just worry about such an unfaithful, unstable person.
I also have had a situation where I kind of put some distance between us for awhile after she was especially crazy and annoying at a festival years ago (eventually deciding to look past it).
Now, she is breaking up with this really great guy because basically he has a big boy job and wants to settle down and buy a house in his hometown. They love each other a ton, but simply want different things. She’s not ready to commit to living in the Midwest, and she wants to travel the world and meet people. They split amicably and are still friends.
I should also add that it is well known in our friend group that she has cheated on this boyfriend multiple times, with other friends, with randoms, with musicians that we know. No one batts an eye or cares. I try not to judge but I just keep my thoughts to myself, because once again, it doesn’t affect me so I don’t really care. I’m also sure that he knows, and just accepts it. K is honestly just the kind of person that needs to be in a non-traditional, more “open” type of relationship.
Fast forward a bit, and K is moving in. J and I are excited to save up more money with cheaper rent, and S is absolutely giddy in living with K.
Well, the first huge issue is that they party. All the time. Like every single day. K quit her job to relocate to us, and hasn’t gotten a new one yet so she has all the free time in the world. S constantly goes to work late and calls in.
I’m super unimpressed but I figure it will fizzle out once K has been with us for awhile and the two have had their time, and when K starts working. Sometime in a conversation while she is living with us, I tell K the Incident #1 story.
The second issue soon arises. Remember when I said that J gave up everything to move to me? Well one huge thing he gave up was his elderly cat that he literally has tattooed on his leg. He loves that cat to the end of the earth.
Well, S is drastically allergic to cats and absolutely cannot live with one. So, he tearfully said goodbye to his cat that definitely has no more than a few years left of his life. The cat goes to stay with his brother back near his home and we find comfort in knowing that he is doing great, and of course we get updates all the time.
It still fricken sucks for J though, and I see it as an example of just how much he loves me.
Now, this only becomes an issue when, surprise, K wants her cat (that was living just fine with her ex) to live with us. I brush it off and say sorry, actually S is really allergic (which obviously she knows) and it just won’t work. If we could have a cat, we’d have the one that’s on my boyfriend’s skin for the rest of his life, ok.
Nope. S is so desperate to keep K in our house that she literally says one day, “it’s fine I’ll just take a pill or get a shot or something.” This absolutely crushes J, and causes some slight drama in our group. So S is so allergic that Josh can’t have his cat, that he has had for 18 years and has tattooed on his leg, yet K can just bring hers into our home like it’s nothing?! I’m honestly pissed at them and defend J and his feelings but they don’t care.
We eventually come to the agreement that the cat can come, but they need to be a little more respectful of J’s feelings in this situation. And honestly looking back at the situation, I don’t think we ever even actually agreed on it, a litter box just appeared in our bathroom one day.
(Spoiler alert: J’s cat eventually dies in a few months. J moved across the country, couldn’t take his elderly cat, and now is devastated that he left him in his last moments. I feel absolutely terrible.)
A few weeks go by, and they are still partying, and we are still working. Everything isn’t exactly smooth, but it’s going ok and again, J and I are so stoked to be together we don’t even care. We have normal issues.
On holiday, K, S, and many other friends head to B’s city for a show. They all come back about how G (victim in Incident #1) is a complete garbage person, and that she basically did the same thing she did to J to another one of our male friends! Shocking! To me and J, this is more than enough evidence that he is innocent and that her perception regarding Incident #1 is obviously untrue. But my friends do not believe this, they still think J is guilty.
A few weeks go by, and a show comes up and I invite my coworker, T (22ishF) and her boyfriend, C (22ishM) to come with us. She’s new to our “lifestyle” of going to events and I brought her to her first show a few months prior.
Well, as you may have guessed, T has a history and certain type of reputation among my coworkers. We get along great at work, and I have fun with her but I definitely realize that she is young and kind of silly sometimes. Our workplace is incredibly laid back and everyone gets along and hangs out, etc. That is until T began working there several months ago.
Suddenly, there is drama. Rumors fly around constantly, like that T gave a blow job to another coworkers boyfriend, that she is going to press charges because it was forced on her (nothing ever came of that legally as far as I know), that her and C (yes he also works at our bar but they weren’t dating when they first started) are stealing and going to be fired, as well as other just random rumors about and from other coworkers.
It’s so dumb and annoying, especially since I have worked at this bar for five years and can count the number of times I’ve dealt with coworkers’ bullshit on one hand! It just feels like our once peaceful community is all at odds with each other. I enjoy hanging out with T, but I just generally try to stay out of everything. I don’t have time to party with these people anyway. Also, since T and I do spend alone time together occasionally, I did tell her the story of Incident #1.
Ah yes, T and C. Long story short, she was dating a really nice guy, started working at my bar the same time around C, and instantly they were flirting all the time, drinking together off shift, even going out for dinner alone together. Eventually T breaks up with old boyfriend and starts dating C. They move in together as well. (The blow job incident happened after this time I believe, but who really knows!!!)
A little bit before this show, I am told that K is moving out because she wants to move to a different state (she has lived there previously and loved it and always spoke of going back). In the meantime (no job, remember?), she is going to move back in with her ex and do updates on his house for money.
Great, I’m kind of sick of this booze-fueled mess anyway. She is definitely seeing at least one other person regularly, but again, I don’t care. All of her stuff stays at our house, but she takes the cat and is never there.
Anyway, we head to the show. I’ll spare details but yes, everyone is wild and drunk and we all have a blast. C gets so drunk he loses his wallet and immediately passes out after the show. I thought the trip was a success. Nothing else is said about it other than talking about how great a time we had.
That is, until a week later when T and I are closing the bar. She catches me before we get into our cars and says “OP, I have to tell you something. At the show, J slapped my butt when you and other friends were grabbing some drinks at the bar.” Let’s call this Incident #2.
Honestly this catches me so off guard, I say “what?! Are you sure? Maybe just when we were all dancing and being crazy he did it playfully? Thanks for telling me.” It’s weird and I’m in shock.
Latethe next day, she texts me “I just want you to know that it was not playful. J slapped me really hard. I believe it was when everyone was gone at the bar, I was standing next to a random guy and J was behind me. I got slapped, I turned around pissed to the stranger and asked if he slapped me. He said no, and as I turned my head, I saw J’s hand pulling away from me. You mean a lot to me and are my only female friend and I feel like you deserve to know.”
I don’t know what to do. Right away, I tell J. He thinks the claim is completely ridiculous. I agree. Although I believe she got slapped, I do not believe that J did it. We were in a tight crowd at a concert for crying out loud. And why did she ask the stranger if he did it but not J??!
Anyway, I am going to try to keep my opinions out and present you with the facts. Also, J and I were dancing very closely all night, other than leaving for drinks/bathroom. There was also a large group of friends with us, including K, and one of K’s many boytoys (not the ex she is apparently living with). All people I trust enough and know.
J and I are super upset and shocked by the allegation. Although S isn’t J’s biggest fan, I know she knows about T and her past and drama. Thinking she may understand where we are coming from and laugh off T’s accusation, I tell S about the Incident #2 allegations.
Yep, that was obviously a mistake. S says, “well, one of our friends told me that he saw it happen.” WHAT. And yet no one said anything to me or J the night of.
Immediately I text that friend and ask if he saw anything inappropriate between J and T. He says “no, but I did hear from another friend at the show that something did happen. That friend only knew because T asked them for advice as to what to do about it.” Well then.
We are trying to figure this out but honestly I’m just upset and hurt, and not even sure by who anymore. Just that someone in my life is lying to me. But I do try to get past it.
There are also other issues with T, she gets drunk shortly after and C informs me that she is going to quit the bar and break up with him. I tell both of them to sober up, calm down, and that I’m over it and everything is good.
To this day, T still hasn’t texted me back. The last text conversation I have with C includes him saying “we might quit, or stick around until current manager is fired.” Yet another rumor, I have heard nothing about current manager being fired and he does a great job.
Honestly, I am just so annoyed with everyone. One day, J is at work and S and I are sitting on the couch. Obviously we begin talking about Incident #2 and just everything surrounding it really.
Shockingly, she reveals to me that the real reason K moved out is because J was constantly making her uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that every time she was here, a male friend had to escort her to and from her room.
She also knows that K has a few texts, as well as a long list of verbal instances. From now on, K’s accusations are Incident #3. And of course, the reason K never said anything to me was because I “am scary. K doesn’t want to end up like B.” (Aka cut out of my life. I’m assuming??) And she didn’t say anything to J at the time of the multiple verbal incidents because apparently she was sooo uncomfortable. I’m so confused and hurt and just upset.
But S and I overall have a productive conversation about the issue. I feel like she is telling me what she believes, even if it may just be someone else’s account.
Also, it comes up, that just the night before, when S’s male friend was walking out of the bar, he told S that he “saw J getting handsy with another female friend.” Incident #4.
I’d just like to point out that this male friend also hung out with J and I MOMENTS after this occurred for a minute before we left the bar, and said nothing. (J maybe had two drinks, he was taking photos that night.)
When J gets home after S and I have this conversation, I am clearly distraught and upset and confront him about both new accusations.
He is in complete disbelief. We immediately text both male and female regarding Incident #4. They both reply that is ridiculous, J and female talked for a minute and nothing was inappropriate. Male friend is confused because he swears he only told S that he “saw female and J at the bar as he was walking out.” Incident #4 is completely dismissed and chalked up as a miscommunication. By who, I’m not sure.
But however, when I confront J about Incident #3, he says yes, one night after taking photos and drinking a lot with K and our group of friends, (they went to the show together because S and I were at work) he was wasted and puking and he knows that he crossed a line and sent K a few flirty texts. I can’t believe this, I feel so betrayed that he hid this from me.
He doesn’t even remember what they say, he knows they aren’t horrible but what he did was wrong. He also has since deleted the texts. (Guilt, trying to hide the evidence, or maybe just truly put it behind him?)
Also, the next morning after the texts, when he woke up, he says he “immediately apologized to K in person, saying he regrets it and it was inappropriate. She brushed it off and said it’s ok, mistakes happen, I forgive you,” and they went on with their lives.
I also want to point out, that around the time K moved out (before and after) she still texted him normal roommate things like “can someone unlock the door”, etc, and commented on one of his Facebook photos saying “Great photo dude, YOU are the talent here!”
We continued to talk all night and get details. I asked him to sleep on the couch and got no sleep, crying all night.
He came in the room a few times to tell me he loved me, that he knows he fucked up, he was so drunk the night he sent the texts, and please just understand.
J says that “for quite awhile after moving here, I really felt so alone (in the friend department) and that none of your friends really liked me, and that K and I had become, what I thought, decent friends.” Also, that “K has been flirting with me for quite awhile.”
At first, her behavior allegedly confused him and he thought her friendly personality was just, extra friendly or something and that she was being nice, but he still was confused by it.
He said when he did her half naked yoga every morning, he would go into his room and stay away from it. He said she was overly sexual and detailed with him often, but again, knew it was her personality.
She would often say things to him like “hope you’re eating OP’s pussy right now!” And text him if we were watching a movie in our room, “why can’t we hear that girl screaming?!” And inquire about our sex life often. He answered and laughed it off, but felt weird that she was prying so much.
I couldn’t believe that he didn’t tell me any of this, let alone tried to hide it from me. AND that if he realized she was being more than nice, why didn’t he stop it immediately? I also can’t believe I didn’t notice this all happening in my own home.
I became even more upset when he said “I even texted a good friend from back home ‘is this girl flirting with me? This is weird, right?’” Because why couldn’t he say that to me?! Seriously. I think this all could have been avoided if I was actually involved.
He continues to insist that the ONLY truth is that yes, he sent those texts and there was some weird flirtatious vibe. He regrets everything, he wants to die, he made the biggest mistake of his life, he will do anything to keep me, he loves me so much, etc.
Obviously, since all of this, I left immediately in the morning and went to my mom’s house. I have been incredibly upset, crying nonstop. I talked for hours to my family about the situation. I felt better, I felt worse. I texted back and forth with S and J, as well as a few mutual friends from his home. J counties to beg for my forgiveness.
While texting with S, she sent me the screenshots that K had. They were both on two different occasions about a week apart, on the two drunkest nights J has had while living here.
The first one said “Commeeee napppp with meeeeee” and another said “I love you so much, you are so pretty!” The nap one really got to me, the pretty one not so much.
We are very open types of people, obviously it wasn’t ok, but I would never have thought twice (previously) if K walked into the living room dressed up or something and J said “you look cute!”
But yeah, never have I ever felt so betrayed by so many people. People that I thought cared about me. I asked S to get the list of verbal incidents as well, because I am just trying to gather all of the facts and hear everyone’s side. K says to S, “it would take me so long to write out everything. At this point what do I even owe her if she doesn’t even have the respect or decency to talk to me as a friend? She just wants to hurt me?”
I think that’s ridiculous, just give me the evidence I’m asking for?! S says to just text K and ask her nicely. I say that I don’t want to text her because if I do, I will say something hurtful.
I am dumbfounded by this as well, because what the fuck? Did K not have respect or decency to talk to me as a friend when my boyfriend was allegedly making her so comfortable she had to literally move out?? And flirting with her? Or even say something to him, like “hey you are taking this too far, please stop.” Nope. I guess I am just disrespectful.
I will not say to S and K about the fact that J said K was flirting also (and “started it”) because I they will just say that I am a liar, trying to paint K as a manipulator, and believing J’s lies over that of what my friends say.
I angrily messaged his mother, telling her a summary of the accusations and that he will be moving back to the Southwest. I never want to see him again and I want him out of our house immediately. She says she will help and she is so sorry, but please be patient as a cross country move on a whim with little cash and a huge dog is no easy task. I say yes, but I am very upset and I can’t believe the person I loved lied to me and betrayed me.
I spend the night at my mom’s. I call into work. I can’t stop crying, I can’t sleep, and I can’t eat. I just cannot imagine that every single one of these situations have come this far. I don’t believe anyone, not any of my friends and not Josh either.
Obviously there are some truths, and some lies, but honestly who the fuck knows. It’s all he-said-she-said, minus literally 2 texts of actual proof (dare I say one and a half because calling my friend pretty is the least horrible thing I got out of this). And I do believe J that those were definitely drunken-filed incidents as those were by far the drunkest nights he has ever had while living here. Whether they are isolated or not is the real question.
I’m at a loss and I don’t know what else to think.
Since then, I have come home. K’s stuff has been moved out of the extra bedroom and J is sleeping there. Basically, our lives are on standby while I decide what to do. I could go on and on about my thoughts, but really these are my options right now:
  1. I tell J to pack up and leave. He has had some time to get money together and figure out some plans. If I tell him to leave, he could be out of my life forever and heading across the country in just a few hours. S and I will have to find a new roommate. I will continue my life with work, however unsure of what my future is now. Completely devastated that I lost the love of my life to such ridiculousness, but I guess at least I’m trusting my friends?
  2. I tell J that we can make this work. Although I don’t think I will ever completely know the truth, I know that mistake(s) have been made, and that because we love each other so much, I am willing to work together to do whatever we can to move past it. (If all that’s true are the texts, then honestly that is forgivable) I will have to set strict rules and it will take a very long time to gain my trust again. And, if there ever is even the slightest issue, he is done and gone. If this happens, I will have to have a serious discussion with S about what she wants to do. J and I will be fine in the house by ourselves, but I don’t want to lose my friendship with S. I would make it very clear to her that I’m not choosing him over heour friends, just that we love each other and can work past the mistake(s). I may regret this, as I guarantee the true J will come out if I am wrong in this decision.
Congratulations if you’ve made it this far, that was longer than most books. Help me, what should I do? What’s your insights and thoughts?
Again, the decision I make is generally not going to be influenced by the details, but more so just, “do we love enough to get past whatever the fuck this was? Or can I not ignore it and this just won’t work?”
I am especially struggling now with the thought that, if I do accept this mistake, will I wake up every day for the next 10 years crying about this? When I look at my future, sure I want my friends to be there. But also what I picture is living in the Southwest with my boyfriend. I just want to make the right decision moving forward.
Help. Again I could add so many of my thoughts but that is every relevant detail I have. All of our lives are just in limbo while I decide the next few years of my life with one line of words. I am so hurt by everyone I thought loved me, and I don’t know where to go from here.
Edit1: I know it sounds like I’m a party monster that goes out every weekend but this entire timeline goes on for almost 6 months and these handful of events are literally every single time I have “gone out” in that time. Also my boyfriend is an event photographer so he isn’t partying 90% of the time he is at a show, he’s relatively sober (like maybe two drinks), he is working his ass off running around taking pictures and is serious about his job.
Edit 2: J loves me more than anything and swears it was a stupid drunk text mistake, and that is it. Everyone in my life fucking sucks.
TL;DR: ok I literally don’t know how to tell this story without all the details, but basically my long distance boyfriend moved to me and all my friends (with reputations of their own) made accusations against him. Some have been proven true, while others have been proven untrue. It’s become a real he-said-she-said that has resulted in me feeling completely and utterly destroyed. I can’t trust any one of the people in my life I thought cared for me the most. I am the one in the most pain and I literally have done nothing wrong. I can’t see the end and I can’t stop crying. But I need to make a decision.
HelpIFuckingNeedHelpASAP
submitted by zingingcutie11 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.03.03 07:39 ThrowA88jdk Your thoughts on my (34M) wife's (33F) vague suggestion on being "open" but for me only?

This seemed like a more in tune place to ask this question vs the general RA subreddit.
Background is we're both still in a great relationship overall the past 10 years married and 13 years together, no kids yet.. Each of us had a few partners before we met but we're relatively tame in the sexual exploration dept. I've always been more forthcoming about what I like and have never asked her to do something she's uncomfortable with. Anything new we try such as sex toys or new positions is usually more like I suggest and she's like "I wont know until I try it" mentality and it usually works out that she does enjoy or like it so I'm not sure if I should pose my situation differently in this instance.
So while this sort of relates to sex its more about the understanding relationship part Im not sure how to ask her about going forward. We had normal 6-7 yr honeymoon phase, but we usually get together at least once every few weeks now. Normal life, schedules, and her sex drive has slowed down for sure. I think we both understand my sex drive is now much higher than hers and she's fine with me looking at porn so long as it doesnt interfere with sex together. Whenever we do get together I admit it satisfies me more to make her enjoy it and orgasm many times; she understands this and has mentioned she appreciates it greatly and is more than happy with our experiences together.
On to the question, over the past year Ive slowly become intrigued with the thoughts of a 3-some or similar situation. She was raised very conservatively but has blossomed sexually over the years so i wanted her thoughts on it. In both general conversation and while drinking/getting frisky she actually mentioned in a fantasy world with no repercussions she would prefer another female with us to "experiment"; I'm actually open to either MMF or MFF and she's fine with that, in our little fantasy world anyway especially with the sex toys as our "third".
Regardless, I travel a lot for work and she's stated 2 times now "if you do anything with someone else I just dont want to know about it." It caught me off guard because thats not something that she would ever say. I always joke about her going out with her friends to bars and meeting some Rico Suave guys and she said no thats for her single friends to get tangled up with. I cant ever see her cheating on me, she's mentioned many times she doesnt care for any boytoy or side game and doesnt have time nor the patience to attempt it. I trust her wholeheartedly on that, we're very open on everything we do/go/etc. It bothered me enough though I told her Im a little shocked she'd suggest it and she just reiterated Im on the road in other places a lot and away from her so if I do stuff with others I just need to keep quiet about it and not say anything to her. Of course I told her if there was someone else it would be when all 3 of us were together, but she said theres too much danger in trying that (I assume in trying to keep it safe and discreet which I completely agree is a concern). On one hand, I see it cheaply as a free pass to try new things. On the other of course, I'd feel guilty of cheating. To be honest I'd really like to meet in the middle and show her with some due diligence it could be something fun to try together.
So anyway now that Ive written my mini-novel, what are your thoughts on how to handle this or broach the subject again? Or do I bury it?
submitted by ThrowA88jdk to nonmonogamy [link] [comments]


2020.02.29 13:40 Cypherunreal I am a male who survived a really bad relationship and domestic abuse situation - AMA

Love is that precious four letter word that describes the internal emotive surge of connection, attraction, and the ability to spend your life with someone. I honestly thought I found that in 2012, but the years later; I didn't realise it then, but I do now... I was being milked and fooled under the pre-tense of someone using that word.
I'm a guy, so this story may seem awkward coming from the other side. I'm not gonna spill names, or ages or locations. But this story is something I need to tell so that I can actively move on with my new girlfriend and move on from the events that happened throughout, and after.
The ex, as I call her... amongst many other choice terms; Used to have "friends" but delete the chat logs, and so forth; and for one guy friend, who was younger than both of us at the age of 17 she was even accused by his GIRLFRIEND that he was helping him cheat. I ignored it as the two "friends" drifted apart. Eventually our relationship started to break down in 2014 as I began dealing with some internal personal issues and getting the help I needed. She connected with a guy who claimed he was "from the army", but with some handy background work from my Journalism background, I was able to prove otherwise. He would often pick her up when she made extreme emotional decisions and constantly yell and abuse me for being "useless" amongst other things. She'd return having partied with another friend, of whom we actively knew was cheating on her boyfriend. We'll call her Red (due to her hair colour).
Anyway, as time went on, she stopped seeing him as he became involved with another chick, and I tried to convince her to come to therapy with me, but she kept saying that I was the only one who needed help, that she never cheated, just wanted to have fun with friends, and not feel "tied down". She eventually agreed to counselling; but never went. The next year, she went through weight loss surgery, and tried to pull the pin just as she went in to get it done; she eventually just got it over and done with, but tried to pin me "forcing" her to get it done when she was on the waiting list long before we had even met. I never forced her to do anything, and she made decisions all of her own accord. During the time she was getting surgery, I had a problem with my lung and blew it off. When we returned home, not even a week later I had problems with my breathing, and went to our mutual doctor (Who was an absolute douchebag) and only got told to have basic painkillers and Ventolin, as I had asthma.
A couple of days go by, and I can't feel my lung, I can't hold any air in my lungs; and I'm transported to hospital via ambulance where I'm diagnosed with Para-pneumonia and was told that I had gone septic, and had I waited any longer; I will die. I spent weeks in hospital trying to recover locally, and she barely made appearances (She did however complain that she NEEDED me to be at home to help her around the house and to hurry up and get better and to "stop faking it" because I was "taking the limelight" from her), especially when my family were there. She did however bring one of her friends in, so that she could "ask" to borrow my card, to which I replied that she should have enough money as long as I am paying my share of bills and rent via the iPad I was borrowing off my mother. Later that night, I notice my card missing, and it came at the worst time as the next day I was being transported to a private hospital 3 hours away to seek better treatment and conditions than the public one could provide.
I finally make it back home, and she only came to visit on the day I'm going home and barely kept in touch. I get home, check my card when I'm meant to be resting and she's been using it to "pay rent" and to buy drinks so she could hang with her female friends (another of which was also cheating on her partner). We then proceeded to move out, but whenever I brought up anything about her cheating, or trying to steal money, it resulted in that argument of threatening to leave me and how much of an impact it'd have in my life and how it'd all be my fault. She eventually pinned me against a wall, and held a knife at my throat telling me that she's had enough of me and doesn't want me in her life anymore; but if I tried to leave, she'd blame me for leaving. I was tied emotionally to her, and yet, felt distant to her; but I was already suffering from not only previous mental health problems; but PTSD from the hospital incident. Emotionally I felt weak.
Anyway, a month or so passes by and Red is again cheating on her partner with a guy who's like 19 or some shit. Eventually she gets knocked up by him, and makes up some elaborate scheme to tell her partner that she was being drugged and raped in the back of his car. Never true, because every night she went somewhere with him; she was sober and knew exactly what she was doing. Anyway, randomly this kid gets kicked out of the family home and my ex puts her hand up immediately to bring him into our house; and makes up the excuse that her goal in life is to make sure she can help someone just like him. Eventually our mutual friends cruises start to ignore me as I am still struggling to get better at home. I eventually just end up being uninvited despite mutual friends wanting me to join them. Throughout all of this, she also manipulated another group of friends by trying to scam them by using stolen nude photos of them to get money out of them (she worked for them), but once she got busted; she then tried to pin the scam on me and threatened to leave me because I'm sick for "looking at them" - I never saw the photos, she was the only one who did and decided to brag to everyone... but she had everyone in her pocket about it.
Anyway, this guy has moved in, and they're going out all the time. I initially make excuses for them being out and about, and a rift is caused between my family when I refuse to believe she's cheating and manipulating me. She is still stealing money off me, and when she says it's for bills or rent... it never ends up going there. Eventually some mutual friends betray her and let me in on everything that's been going on. And she she steals $150 to buy her boytoy draws full of cotton candy, I decide to try and find a way for me to emotionally move on. I eventually found a way to have him feel pressured to leave, and there was absolute blood and fury about to come as a result of it. She eventually got up in my face, screamed at me, before smashing a photo frame against my head; she then grabbed a knife and threatened to kill me. She then slashed me and in self defence I pushed her back and told her to wake the fuck up and know what she was doing is wrong and that she could get in trouble for it. She got her boy toy to pick her up, and she bolted straight to the police.
The police rocked up when I was heavily emotionally distraught, suicidal even; they were the first voice of reason outside of friends and family and one said "You have to make the decision now to get her out of your life. Otherwise this is going to be worse for you and we don't want to attend another job like this where the outcome is worse". I knew I needed to move on, I was afraid, I was so emotionally and financially tied up in this; but no matter the cost, she had to go. She had spent months screaming that she wanted to break up with me, or that we had broken up; and I had started to try and accept that. In the morning when she left with her boy toy on another adventure somewhere she told me she'd come back and be starting to try and work things out; again, I knew this was a false promise. I had been talking to someone else around this time using the same apps she was talking to people on to "make friends"... and I thought "I can 'make friends' too". I met this one girl and we had what was just a one time fling, but it was enough for me to realise that I can move on, and this is gonna cost me; but i need to get out of this shit. I locked her outside, and said through the door "I need you to get some stuff and leave, we're over". She then tried to suck up to me because her boytoy (who worked for my brother) had lost his job, and she wasn't making any money that wasn't from me having disability pension.
A few weeks of continued death threats from her and the boy toy; he even tried to run me down once; she then tried to steal Christmas presents for my family, scam one of my cards to order herself flowers, then another lot sent to her mother interstate. She then tried to pin thousands of dollars of bills in her name on me, but because they were in her name; I told her to go jump. Some of my friends abandoned me to lies she made up about me being the abuser, and that I hit her constantly and emotionally controlled her. She also made a video which I still have of her burning a photo with a friend where she says she wants to burn me to death. When some of our mutual friends questioned her on it, she said "I'm allowed to be dirty, I never cheated on him, but he's allowed to cheat on me?"
5 years on from it all now, I'm still working on kicking the debt that she left me in, and I'm still dealing with life and new health issues with a great medical team. I've got a new amazing girlfriend who has been a great carer to me. She's since had two kids to another guy, who I hear recently cheated on her. She's still not working and depends on him for money primarily. She doesn't have contact with her boy toy, who got another chick pregnant. Mutual friends we had don't speak to me, but are right up her nose on social media. Sometimes I hear that there's still shit being said about me behind my back, but I blow it off because my brother has a strong social circle to dispel the bullshit and my girlfriend has a strong supportive family where I've been welcomed into. My family and I have reconnected, and are strengthened from the experience. I look back on it now, and still think it sucks because of how many people sided with bullshit and lies over the truth and probably don't know the full story; but I'm happier now, despite my health and think that actually putting my story out there will bring me a sense of closure at long last.
submitted by Cypherunreal to AMA [link] [comments]


2020.01.27 00:27 PurpleGreenBerries Is monogamy too much to ask anymore?

So, I'm not a prude. I'm pretty liberal when it comes to sex, relationships, etc. But anymore... everyone who is interested in me... and I mean everyone... wants or is already in an open relationship.
I have done the whole open thing more than once. When I was in my early 20s I was involved with a married couple in their early 30s. That was fun for a while... but drama started eventually. She started getting jealous because he was getting too attached to me. So it stopped. I am still friends with both of them. They aren't together anymore. Him and I have been off and on FWBs at different times since then when we were both single.
When I was in my late 20s my then husband and I had an open marriage. For a time, I had a husband, a girlfriend and a boytoy. And that was fun for a while... then the drama started.
My last relationship ended 2 months ago. (I am not too broken up over this. I'm the one that ended it.) I had my reasons for doing this. But one main reason was he kept pressuring me for an open relationship.
Around the time him and I started dating, I was also talking to someone else. I actually left her alone because she was in an open relationship. My now ex was aware of this and he told me a few months in that he wasn't into that and that wasn't what he wanted. Then later on down the line he starts pressuring me and making me feel guilty for not complying.
Like I've said... nothing against open relationships. That's fine as long as everyone's honest. But I've already been there and done that. At this point in my life I just want someone who wants only me and doesn't want to screw everyone else. And the only people who want anything to do with me are people in open relationships.
What made me want to post this thread was being hit on by a polyamorous friend of mine. She has like 6 romantic partners. She not only wants to add me to the mix. But she wants to set me up with her boyfriend, and also one of her gitrlfriends. I'm just not into that anymore. I want to give all of my love to someone and have someone in return give all of their love to me. It's so disheartening. girlfriends
submitted by PurpleGreenBerries to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.01.12 21:30 Articulate_Epiphany [m4F+] Matriarchal / Female Led Society

Hi all,
I am hoping to find a woman RP partner for a fictional rp in a society where women are understood by all to be the far superior sex.
In this society women outnumber males by a decent margin and hold all of the rights and political power: All officials positions, jobs and roles of any significance are held by women. Males are known to be mentally and emotionally inferior and thus their most important contribution to society is to see to the comfort and pleasure of women. All societal design, fashion and layout considerations are made specifically for female comfort.
Males in this society have been bred into two distinct categories: virile "boytoys" who are well endowed, physically attractive, required to maintain peak physical fitness and adorably empty-headed, and sissy servants who are physically weaker and smaller in stature, naturally hairless below the head and trained in obedience and domestic servitude. The boytoys are available as breeding stock but can also be easily modified for infertility at a woman's wish, for entertainment without any risk of pregnancy. The sissies are typically owned by a household or made available to the public for comfort and pleasure.
Women in this society all have a strong libido, and cultural taboos around sexual release - particularly oral pleasure from sissies - are virtually non-existent. Thus it is quite common for a woman to have her sissy on his knees with his head between her legs under her desk at work or in meetings, on public or private transportation, or in waiting rooms. There are also comfort rooms staffed with publicly available sissies at all public bathrooms. Since males are in the minority and demand is high, sissies are often "loaned out" to friends, neighbors or strangers during the course of a day.
Sissies undergo extensive training in oral pleasure and absolute obedience to females. Any female regardless of age or social stratum is automatically above and has authority over any male, with the result that sissies are prone to abuse from time to time. Sissies are also required to keep sex toys with them at all times in public and be ready to submit to pegging at any time from women who enjoy that.
---
I hope this idea intrigues some of you, I would really love to hear from you.
There are many ways we can take this setup from here. I have suggestions I can present, but I am also very open to modifying things to suit your tastes.
If any of this interests you, please send me a quick PM to let me know!
Thanks!
submitted by Articulate_Epiphany to FemdomRP [link] [comments]


2019.11.18 17:29 TheNormalAlternative Best Rock / Punk / Alternative / Indie / Metal shows in NYC (week of 11/18)

Another incredible week to catch a concert in the City. Highlights include Angel Olsen (x3), Bethlehem Steel/Lightning Bug/Sinai Vessel, Billy Corgan (x3), Boston ManoMicrowave/Heart Attack Man, Crumb (x2), Jukebox the Ghost, Matt & Kim, Ringo DeathstarBlushing, Tennis System, Titus Andronicus, Tool/Killing Joke and Wild Nothing.
Double Asterisks (**) signal Top Recommendations.

Monday, November 18
Venue Lineup
ALPHAVILLE (Bushwick) Jeanines / Las Nubes / Joudy / Psycho Cat
Baby's All Right (Williamsburg) Blood / Tredicdi Bacci / Cindy Cane / Poppies
The Broadway (Bed-Stuy) **Moon Kissed / Drug Couple (release show) / Color Tongue / Atlas Engine
Gramercy Theatre (Gramercy) Billy Corgan (acoustic) (SOLD OUT)
The Kingsland (Greenpoint) Daikaju / You Bred Raptors?
Tuesday, November 19
Venue Lineup
Arlene's Grocery (LES) Deep Wim / eCOCOBOYS / Strange Neighbors
Barclays Center (Downtown Brooklyn) **Tool / Killing Joke
Bowery Ballroom (Bowery) Skegss / Le Shiv / GYMSHORTS
Brooklyn Steel (East Williamsburg) Electric Wizard / Midnight
Gramercy Theatre (Gramercy) Billy Corgan (acoustic) (SOLD OUT)
Saint Vitus (Greenpoint) **Ringo Deathstarr / Blushing / Rosegarden Funeral Party / Lorelei K

Wednesday, November 20
Venue Lineup
ALPHAVILLE (Bushwick) The Planes / Joyce / Rudy Stone
Elsewhere (East Williamsburg) **Wild Nothing / Kate Bollinger / Office Culture
Gramercy Theatre (Gramercy) Billy Corgan (acoustic) (SOLD OUT)
Rough Trade NYC (Williamsburg) Tennis System / DAISY / Mevius

Thursday, November 21
Venue Lineup
ALPHAVILLE (Bushwick) REALWORLD / Bueno / Consumables
Berlin Under A (East Village) Rosegarden Funeral Party / Clone / Lorelei K
The Broadway (Bed-Stuy) Vanessa Silberman / Nihiloceros / Top Nachos / Sharkswimmer
Brooklyn Bazaar (Greenpoint) **Weatherbox / The Hotelier (solo) / The Obsessives / Sal Show
Brooklyn Steel (East Williamsburg) **Angel Olsen / Zsela (SOLD OUT)
Carmelo's (Bushwick) The Advertisers / Coco Verde / Tower / CT Hustle and the Muscle
The Dance (NoHo) Donzii / Sandy Smiles / Gesserit
Elsewhere (East Williamsburg) High on Fire / Power Trip / Devil Master / Creeping Death
The Footlight (Ridgewood) Art at the Footlight feat. Pocket Protector / Recently Single / Shelter Dogs
Gramercy Theatre (Gramercy) ** Boston Manor / Microwave / Heart Attack Man / Selfish Things
Market Hotel (Bushwick) **BOYTOY / Future Punx / Brower / Gustaf
Music Hall of Williamsburg (Williamsburg) Tiny Moving Parts / Fredo Disco / Standards
Rough Trade NYC (Williamsburg) Beach Bunny / Another Michael / MICHELLE (SOLD OUT)
Rubulad (Bushwick) Lily & Horn Horse / Godcaster / Zach Phillips / Carol / Salt People
The Sultan Room (Bushwick) Purr / Dan English / Water From Your Eyes
Trans-Pecos (Ridgewood) **Mean Siders (release show) / Daddies / QWAM / Hello Mary

Friday, November 22
Venue Lineup
The Broadway (Bed-Stuy) 88 Palms / HNRY FLWR / Safer (release show)
Brooklyn Bazaar (Greenpoint) Shimmer (release show) / Sunk Heaven / Sibling / Dreamcrusher
Brooklyn Steel (East Williamsburg) **Angel Olsen / Vagabon (SOLD OUT)
Bushwick Public House (Bushwick) Foxtails / Stay Inside / Ultra Deluxe / LMI / Hysteria
The Gutter (Williamsburg) Atlas Engine / Jelly Kelly / Sooner
Music Hall of Williamsburg (Williamsburg) **Crumb / Divino Nino / Shormey (SOLD OUT)
Rockwood Music Hall (LES) Anya Marina
Rough Trade NYC (Williamsburg) Pip Blom / The Britanys

Saturday, November 23
Venue Lineup
ALPHAVILLE (Bushwick) **True Dreams (release show) / Wooing / Power Snap / Fraidycat (reunion show)
Bowery Ballroom (Bowery) **Titus Andronicus / Partner
Brooklyn Bazaar (Greenpoint) Nobunny / Native Sun / Bipolar
Brooklyn Steel (East Williamsburg) Angel Olsen / Madi Diaz (SOLD OUT)
The Gutter (Williamsburg) **Maneka / Moist Boy / Pest (debut show) / Cold Dice
International Sanitation Facility (Bed-Stuy) (house show) Bueno / Anna Altman / The Regrets / Zack.
Market Hotel (Bushwick) Black Marble / Automatic
Music Hall of Williamsburg (Williamsburg) **Crumb / Divino Nino / Shormey (SOLD OUT)
Our Wicked Lady (East Williamsburg) Mount Sharp / Onesie / Catty
Rodrigue's Coffee House (Fordham) **Control Top / Weeping Icon / Russian Baths
Trans-Pecos (Ridgewood) (early show) Macseal (release show) / I'm Glad It's You / Yeah is What We Have
Trans-Pecos (Ridgewood) (late show) Grun Wasser / Dreamcrusher
Union Pool (Williamsburg) N0V3L / Gustaf

Sunday, November 24
Venue Lineup
Arlene's Grocery Best Baby / Freee $$$ / Mt. Feral / Real Blood
C'mon Everybody (Bed-Stuy) **Jukebox the Ghost / Chris Cubeta Band / Shapes in Calgary
Terminal 5 (Hell's Kitchen) Matt and Kim / The Frights
Trans-Pecos (Ridgewood) **Bethlehem Steel / Lightning Bug / Sinai Vessel / Ben Seretan

As always, this isn't meant to be a comprehensive list, just my selection of rock shows I personally think are worth checking out. It's not my intent to slight any band or any fan. Just trying to spread the information to help guide people and fill up those back rooms! Think there's a show missing from this list? Feel free to mention it in the comments
submitted by TheNormalAlternative to NYCConcerts [link] [comments]


2019.11.05 18:02 Pleasant_Fountains74 M4F - The First Human Guard at a Xenos Prison

Welcome to Casican IX Galactic Penitentiary.
The station is the largest prison run by the Confederacy of Systems east of Galactic Center. The member races of the CoS are in the midst of regulating their prison populations to galactic penitentiaries; with a minimum raise in member taxes, each race can redirect costs previously spent on prison and prisoner upkeep to other pursuits. Each CoS prison station is staffed by species native to the sectors of space nearest it and protected by Confed ships stationed at nearby warp locks. The stations are supplied by civilian contractors on a monthly basis, where the ships are continually checked for stowaways and contraband items.
Casican IX, set in the Eastern Frontier, is one of only three female prison stations in the entire Confederacy. Casican IX was built on the frontier as both a show of force and a reminder about the establishment of law as the race for settlements rages. It’s staffed completely by female guards, and the Warden in charge of the station is one of the Canid who value order and pack protection above all else.
The station needs her.
Casican IX Galactic Penitentiary holds the worst of the worst – supermax for the galaxy. The females housed within are sociopaths, mass murderers, rapists, and drug queenpins. There are inmates who attempted (and others who succeeded) in blowing up entire colonies, and others who sold Confed citizens into slavery. There are inmates who ran galaxy-wide smuggling rings and inmates who operated white collar crime on a level few ever hope to achieve (and brought down the economies of entire sectors in their greed). Nearly every race is represented within its inmate population, from Tithalthi to Allda’ar and everything in between.
This is what I’m walking into.
Unemployed due to the main human prison on Luna shutting down, I managed to pull strings with old friends and get a job here. As far as I know, I’ll be the first human to work on the station; some of the inmates have been here since before Humanity made contact with the rest of the Confederacy, so I imagine there will be some novelty there. I’ll also be the only male guard on staff.
(Between you and me, I think I got hired based off the diversity quotas the Senate passed last quarter. I can’t complain, though!)
The transport shuttle docks with a thud, and that’s that.
Here we go.
Hey!
The general idea here is that my character – a human male – is the first male many of these female guards and prisoners have seen in a very long time. The story could be a lighthearted romance between two guards, a hopeful narrative where a relationship of respect between a guard and an inmate turns into something more, or something darker where a drug queenpin elects to seduce and entrap her human boytoy into doing her dirty work.
I have references for other species, but I would also love to hear your own ideas!
Kinks include (but are not limited to) – well endowed characters, taboo sex, nonhuman partners, unexpected softness (romance or kindness from normally hard characters please!), animalistic fucking, dirty talk, large loads, hurried hookups, well detailed worlds, temptation, corruption, sitdownwemightbehereawhile…
Limits: extreme ageplay, scat, extreme blood (a slice on the cheek during foreplay is fine, but please no disembowelment during sex!).
Hit me up!
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2019.10.26 06:47 tacoma_witt Took a break for a bit, but we’re back

Had a big set back a few weeks ago. It’s kinda complicated, but I think it will be good for me to write it down. Wife works at an ER and had a victim of sexual assault come in. Nothing too unusual about that, has happened several times since we started this journey. But in this case the police officers were very disrespectful to the victim and were slut shaming her hard in front of my wife. She wanted to say something to the officers, but didn’t and felt bad about it afterward.
A few days after that, I went on a business trip and she gave me a hallpass, which I used. While this was going on my wife was also out of town visiting family. So we had a two week period where we didn’t have much of a physical connection (which is important in our relationship).
While she was flying back home she was catcalled after the airport by some construction workers. Normally this wouldn’t have been a big deal. My wife has done a real good job lately working out and dieting and has lost about 30 pounds in the last year. And she feels very sexy. But she wants to feel sexy when SHE wants. And these guys catcalling her made her feel objectified. And it set off her mind a very negative reaction to feeling sexy. That all the men she was talking to previously were only interested in putting dicks in her. Not interested in her as a person.
So she took a good month or two off, not talking to anyone. Not wanting me to touch her. Didn’t even want to think about hotwifing or playing with other people.
Not gonna lie, it was tough. She had given me a hall pass and that same day she was heckled by the workers at the air port. So I assumed her behavior was due to the hallpass. So I was filled with guilt.
But we took it slow. I didn’t push and now we’re back to where we were. She’s back to talking to new guys from fetlife and we’re planning a meeting with a guys she’s been talking to for a long time next month.
We will be playing differently from now on. She’s choosing to not play on her own with new partners. She wants me there for security. One hot thing we discussed is me driving her and her boytoy around while they’re in the backseat. Which is one of my hottest fantasies.
So, I apologize for the long catharsis. So here’s some pictures of the wife from tonight: https://imgur.com/a/ZBJNt8d
TLDR: wife got triggered by some asshole cops and catcallers. Took a two month break from playing. But we’re back at hit and horny as hell.
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2019.09.17 00:31 fractalfay Recap repost for those denied: Before the 90 Days, I love my sister cook so much

NOTE: This is a repost of the most recent recap, since it’s showing up as “removed” for some folks. I have no idea why; it doesn’t seem to be deleted. But, here it is.
Yessss Rebecca we are ready for your segment so very much. Zied selects a garment from his ill-fitting t-shirt collection for a day at the market with Rebecca. She is impressed by all this, from the plates of colorful spices, to the exotic olives and hearts on a string. A cat emerges from a spice plate to recommend a recently created pile of toxoplasmosis, and the cameraman hasn’t been this excited since Drascilla planted her diaper on the eggs.
Zied and Rebecca are going to meet Zied’s sister, Wiem, so Rebecca’s trying out her sulk/shame facial expression, because she’s going to need it. Wiem is cooking dishes we need to know more about. Can we take a timeout for some cooking show reporting please? No? Fuck you TLC!
“I love cook my sister so much,” Zied agrees.
Rebecca surrenders the spices to sister Wiem, because the spice must flow, while Zied scurries away to try and find a pair of pants that fits, so he’s gone a long, long time. In his absence Rebecca uses her Time Travel Ring ™ to go all the way back to high school, for this riveting exchange:
Wiem: Why do you love my brother?
Becky, Teen PI: (Looks at fingers) I dunno.
Wiem: Why does my brother have to sacrifice and not you?
Becky: I dunno. My kids, or something?
This somehow gets even worse over dinner, since Wiem smells weakness and likes to sprinkle it over her food before eating. Instead of offering retorts or indifference to Shame Quest, 2019, Rebecca recoils like a kicked dog. Dammit, I hate when people are bullied. Now I’m feeling sorry for her. Okay, fine. I’ve got you, Rebecca.
Wiem: How many times have you been married?
Me: Like, to men? On earth?
Wiem: How many partners have you had?
Me: How many fingers and toes do you have? Like, in your whole family, I mean.
Wiem: They are all bad?
Me: Not like Aladin is in bed, amirite Laura?
Wiem: What is the difference between my brother and your exes?
Me: Are we talking education level or penis size?
Wiem: I’m not convinced of your relationship.
Me: That’s okay, I’m still not convinced David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear, but it was on TV so I have to believe.
Wiem: Do you know I’m making catty remarks in a language you don’t understand?
Me: Do you know what I’m doing with my hands under the table?
Scene. Thank you, I’m a hit at Thanksgiving.
The next day Rebecca has a big secret to get off her chest, which is 90DF speak for something relatively minor that doesn’t really need to be brought up.
Rebecca: You know how I always ask permission to have a past?
Zied: Sssoooo nice.
Rebecca: And you know how lies are the foundation of any good relationship?
Zied: Sssso sexy.
Rebecca:I love you more than any other English-slithering person half my age.
Zied: I sssee you are ssso perfect.
Rebecca: I don’t want you to have a dramatic reaction, despite the dramatic build up to a dramatic story that I don’t even really have to share, but I need to, cause dramatic.
Zied: You are sssoo beautiful. Yesss. Ssso good.
Rebecca: I had a relationship with a woman. ARE YOU MAD?
Zied: Sssooo nice.
Rebecca: Are you mad now? Now? How bout now?
Zied: Yes, in the past so good.
As Shaun would say, let’s move on. Somewhere there’s a bar named O’Paddy’s Whiskey Tickler with a couple screaming at each other outside, and one of them isn’t wearing a shirt and is fighting a fence, while the other isn’t wearing pants and keeps taking pulls off an invisible beer and crying? Angela is here to explain the fight, because she is in it.
Angela is still angry that Michael failed to recall his full nautical history and renounce every interaction with a female since he left his mother’s body. He attempts to pacify her with a Coke, but if Kendall Jenner taught us anything, it’s that you’ve got to go with Pepsi if you want to make an empty plea for peace.
Angela takes a Darcey perfume bath, while Michael wakes from sleeping in his car with his final shred of dignity. Angela asks a poor defenseless concierge where she can fulfill more American traveler cliches, and she’s directed to an unassuming hair salon up the street. When she leaves the hotel Michael tries to talk to her, which kicks off The Great Chase, best observed with the theme from Beverly Hillbillies playing in the background. He says wait, she says nope; he says he’ll go get the car, she says okay, then bolts the minute his back is turned; he figures this out, but not before she’s out of sight, and it’s unclear which direction she went. This goes on for several minutes, is totally fake, and I still give it an 8 on the 90DF scale.
Inside the salon Angela requests a hairstyle called “white lady in the Caribbean” and tells the shop owner that she’s engaged to a Nigerian man. The shop owner responds, “I married a Nigerian man, too.” Angela misses this joke, which happens when you’re 100% focused on manufactured drama. “Can I unload my problems on you? You’re a stranger, which means you don’t have a restraining order against me yet,” begins Angela’s tale of romantic woe.
Note to folks who work in salons and barbershops: if 90DF calls and asks to plot a scene there, for the love of God, don’t start filming until I get there.
In desperation, Michael decides to run a repeat on the cake apology, so that the storyline can accelerate from Sally Jesse Raphael to Jerry Springer with the security guard Steve.
“I feel like he’s manipulating me with cake,” Angela says, before deciding that half-done hair is best highlighted by a hasty ratty ponytail. The stylist stifles her scream. Then Angela does exactly what you expect her to do, which is pie Michael with a cake. That’s one too many desserts. Move on, Michael. Never trust a woman who wastes baked goods, or fouls a cake with violence.
Over on the other side of crazy, Darcey is heading to Albania to throw her dank vacation away for more reasons to cry. On the way to the airport, Darcy primes Tom about Stacey and Florian: “He proposed to her the first trip, and this is my first trip, sooo OMG IS THAT A PROPOSAL?”
After they land, Stacey sends a text message letting Darcy know she plans to humiliate her. Darcey needs the right shoe for this, so she spreads her luggage out like a sidewalk trunk show. As Tom marvels at the emphasis on footwear for a meal taking place while sitting down, Darcy reminisces on Jesse’s squire haircut, which led to her giving a fuck what her sister thinks. Despite Stacey’s insistence on meeting at a restaurant and not the hotel, Stacey is late, so Tom moves from pink drinks to red, which is an expression of British rage, along with pursing lips and insisting you’re fine.
40 minutes later, around the time most of us would have bounced, Darcey is making apology expressions at Tom when Smug Stacey saunters in with her Albanian boytoy and Darcey’s Thursday outfit. Tom is unimpressed and takes his white gloves off, and is happy to point out that this isn’t Downton Fucking Abbey, and he’s not afraid to, as they say on Love Island, “take the piss.”
He pulls his rage ripcord with: “Don’t mind that I’ve sat here for like nine hours waiting!” Oh wait, that was the passive-aggressive zipline, so I guess this isn’t a Guy Ritchie movie either.
In fairness to Tom, it is customary to apologize when you’re obnoxiously late, but Smug Stacey did that shit on purpose. When you have siblings, you learn that some people are strategists, some rule by brute force, and some play dead. Stacey opts for condescension and blanket manipulation. I kind of admire that in a serial killer.
“Four years ago you started your cute little vision board with all your adorable tries at life, and it’s almost sort of trying to come true. Remember that Prince Charming ambition you had?” says Smug Stacey.
Darcy cries: “Why do you always wrap curses in compliments like a southern lady sipping sweet tea?”
“Bless your heart,” retorts Stacey, sipping her glass of blood.
“Did somebody say southern? TOO MANY WIMMIN, MICHAEL!” Angela, get out of here.
Later, Darcey and Stacey are taking their rivalry all the way to the set of Mean Girls 65: Social Security. Snarling at each other from across the van, Darcy isolates a riveting topic to explore and square their respective mates for battle.
“Would you fight for me,” Darcy purrs at Tom from eighth grade.
“I’ve never fought for a woman,” replies Tom from thrice-divorced 40, his ankle still smarting from his last ass-beating from Darcey.
“Would YOU fight for me?” Smugs Stacy, tapping out the appropriate response in Morse code with a Maleficent nail.
“I would chew a strangers balls before the eye gouge, my love,” responds Florian.
The rivalry van takes them to a lovely spot in Albania: a bridge with some water that was probably painted by Thomas Kincaid. Tom says he understands why Florian thought it was a good place to propose. Big mistake, Tom. You know you can’t say that word when Darcy is within a hundred miles. Lots of other exciting stuff happens, like Darcey and Stacey bitching about each other’s hair, and talking about the plastic surgeon and midlife crisis they have in common.
Stacey: I’m not trying to one-up you when I one up you.
Darcey: Yes you are a one-upper!
Tom: I’m British.
Darcey: Cries.
Florian: It’s good.
Tom: If I pick you up in a manly fashion, can this be over?
Shaun: Let’s move on.
Tim’s manicured eyebrows are back to make us sleepy, as he daydreams about his no-sex baby with Jeniffer. He swears he hasn’t been drunk-doused before, but I think he’s familiar with the cold soak of a rage baptism. His plans for recovering from the drink toss includes meeting Jennifer and Violet on a playground to talk about his Columbian girlfriend punch card. He flashes back to the last girlfriend, when his hair was bleach blonde and his private plane was tiny, and when Sears Portrait Studio still offered the deluxe package with two 8X10s. Jennifer and Tim are both willing to move forward to new portraits, so they proceed to function as a tourism brochure for Columbia, with spectacular views of endless green country, and another opportunity for Jennifer to call Tim a baby. Jennifer considers that they are both broken from the past, and don’t know how to love each other. What’s wisdom doing on this show?
Enter Avery to save us from smart! At the hotel room, Avery’s mom Terri bounces Omar so she can try to find the functioning part of her daughter’s brain. “There’s got to be something in there besides Twilight novels,” Terri prays. But Avery knows that if she doesn’t make this hasty decision, she’ll never find another way to say “bite me” to her mom.
“If he wanted somebody to get a visa, he could have got somebody to get a visa,” Captain Self-Awareness blurts.
“HE DID GET SOMEBODY!” Why fire one shot Terri, when you’re holding an AK-57?
“Well WE don’t have to live in America,” Avery fires back. “Later when I tell you I’m moving to Syria, you’ll think you drove me to this. Ha!”
Terri pushes Avery to consider that Omar’s career as an almost-periodontist will not guarantee safe passage, but Avery won’t stand for all this rational thought in her Sweet Valley High novel. She storms out into the hotel wild and knocks on his door, saying, “Habibi!” This means we’re definitely not going to see him again until next episode.
Avery insists she’s unconcerned by this and would be fine living in Lebanon (which is no longer taking Syrian refugees) or fine living in Malaysia (where Syrian refugees are not welcome) or Dubai (might have a shot with that one). Avery continues to think the “risk” Terri is referencing is that he’s using her, because she did not bring the Google with her in that tiny purse.
Are you wondering about Fake Cesar? Me neither, but the producers need to milk their money’s worth out of this non-plot. Maria is a no-show, and finally ends her ruse relationship via phone call. Fake Cesar displays an impressive level of rehearsed denial, while Fake Maria asserts that she wants out of this plot line. She dismisses his pretend financial sacrifice as his problem, and Cesar tries to reroute towards emotional blackmail. Maria reads the part of the script where she talks about meeting in the next life or something, and Cesar continues his involved relationship with the producers.
In Kenya, Akinyi is crying, because her brother said something bad about Benji. Was it about the laugh? You can tell us if it was about the laugh. After learning Fidel was talking trash, Benji could have gone to Fidel and asked what happened. The direct approach is risky, but standing there like melting butter isn’t exactly working out. “I’ll just accept blame and wait for change,” Ben mumbles, marbles rolling out of his mouth.
Benji retreats to Akinyi’s brother’s house, where he recreates a scene from The Omen, complete with heavily bookmarked hymnal and pasty humans rocking back and forth. Note to Christians: if you choose to rock a hymn alone in your future family’s house, maybe pick something with fewer references to the blood of Jesus.
Akinyi texts him and asks him to meet her downstairs. She is extremely upset, and tells Benji that her brother told her that she brought shame to the family, and that’s why her father didn’t show up. After she’s done talking, he tries to force her to talk more, and like many people who don’t fucking listen, Benji insists that she needs to “learn to communicate better.” There is nothing mysterious about what she communicated. She said: 1.) this happened, and 2.) I am upset, and don’t want to talk about it anymore. If you force another person to talk when they don’t want to, Benji, then YOU have the communication problem. LET’S MOVE ON, SHAUN.
Next week, Darcy is given full clinger status by Tom (which is gleefully celebrated by Stacey), Rebecca’s PI friend cracks the case, Angela continues to pretend to break up with Michael, and Benji fears that Akinyi’s dad has more Holy Spirit than he does.
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2019.09.16 12:17 fractalfay I Love Cook My Sister So Much: a Before the 90 Days Recap

Yessss Rebecca we are ready for your segment so very much. Zied selects a garment from his ill-fitting t-shirt collection for a day at the market with Rebecca. She is impressed by all this, from the plates of colorful spices, to the exotic olives and hearts on a string. A cat emerges from a spice plate to recommend a recently created pile of toxoplasmosis, and the cameraman hasn’t been this excited since Drascilla planted her diaper on the eggs.
Zied and Rebecca are going to meet Zied’s sister, Wiem, so Rebecca’s trying out her sulk/shame facial expression, because she’s going to need it. Wiem is cooking dishes we need to know more about. Can we take a timeout for some cooking show reporting please? No? Fuck you TLC!
“I love cook my sister so much,” Zied agrees.
Rebecca surrenders the spices to sister Wiem, because the spice must flow, while Zied scurries away to try and find a pair of pants that fits, so he’s gone a long, long time. In his absence Rebecca uses her Time Travel Ring ™ to go all the way back to high school, for this riveting exchange:
Wiem: Why do you love my brother?
Becky, Teen PI: (Looks at fingers) I dunno.
Wiem: Why does my brother have to sacrifice and not you?
Becky: I dunno. My kids, or something?
This somehow gets even worse over dinner, since Wiem smells weakness and likes to sprinkle it over her food before eating. Instead of offering retorts or indifference to Shame Quest, 2019, Rebecca recoils like a kicked dog. Dammit, I hate when people are bullied. Now I’m feeling sorry for her. Okay, fine. I’ve got you, Rebecca.
Wiem: How many times have you been married?
Me: Like, to men? On earth?
Wiem: How many partners have you had?
Me: How many fingers and toes do you have? Like, in your whole family, I mean.
Wiem: They are all bad?
Me: Not like Aladin is in bed, amirite Laura?
Wiem: What is the difference between my brother and your exes?
Me: Are we talking education level or penis size?
Wiem: I’m not convinced of your relationship.
Me: That’s okay, I’m still not convinced David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear, but it was on TV so I have to believe.
Wiem: Do you know I’m making catty remarks in a language you don’t understand?
Me: Do you know what I’m doing with my hands under the table?
Scene. Thank you, I’m a hit at Thanksgiving.
The next day Rebecca has a big secret to get off her chest, which is 90DF speak for something relatively minor that doesn’t really need to be brought up.
Rebecca: You know how I always ask permission to have a past?
Zied: Sssoooo nice.
Rebecca: And you know how lies are the foundation of any good relationship?
Zied: Sssso sexy.
Rebecca:I love you more than any other English-slithering person half my age.
Zied: I sssee you are ssso perfect.
Rebecca: I don’t want you to have a dramatic reaction, despite the dramatic build up to a dramatic story that I don’t even really have to share, but I need to, cause dramatic.
Zied: You are sssoo beautiful. Yesss. Ssso good.
Rebecca: I had a relationship with a woman. ARE YOU MAD?
Zied: Sssooo nice.
Rebecca: Are you mad now? Now? How bout now?
Zied: Yes, in the past so good.
As Shaun would say, let’s move on. Somewhere there’s a bar named O’Paddy’s Whiskey Tickler with a couple screaming at each other outside, and one of them isn’t wearing a shirt and is fighting a fence, while the other isn’t wearing pants and keeps taking pulls off an invisible beer and crying? Angela is here to explain the fight, because she is in it.
Angela is still angry that Michael failed to recall his full nautical history and renounce every interaction with a female since he left his mother’s body. He attempts to pacify her with a Coke, but if Kendall Jenner taught us anything, it’s that you’ve got to go with Pepsi if you want to make an empty plea for peace.
Angela takes a Darcey perfume bath, while Michael wakes from sleeping in his car with his final shred of dignity. Angela asks a poor defenseless concierge where she can fulfill more American traveler cliches, and she’s directed to an unassuming hair salon up the street. When she leaves the hotel Michael tries to talk to her, which kicks off The Great Chase, best observed with the theme from Beverly Hillbillies playing in the background. He says wait, she says nope; he says he’ll go get the car, she says okay, then bolts the minute his back is turned; he figures this out, but not before she’s out of sight, and it’s unclear which direction she went. This goes on for several minutes, is totally fake, and I still give it an 8 on the 90DF scale.
Inside the salon Angela requests a hairstyle called “white lady in the Caribbean” and tells the shop owner that she’s engaged to a Nigerian man. The shop owner responds, “I married a Nigerian man, too.” Angela misses this joke, which happens when you’re 100% focused on manufactured drama. “Can I unload my problems on you? You’re a stranger, which means you don’t have a restraining order against me yet,” begins Angela’s tale of romantic woe.
Note to folks who work in salons and barbershops: if 90DF calls and asks to plot a scene there, for the love of God, don’t start filming until I get there.
In desperation, Michael decides to run a repeat on the cake apology, so that the storyline can accelerate from Sally Jesse Raphael to Jerry Springer with the security guard Steve.
“I feel like he’s manipulating me with cake,” Angela says, before deciding that half-done hair is best highlighted by a hasty ratty ponytail. The stylist stifles her scream. Then Angela does exactly what you expect her to do, which is pie Michael with a cake. That’s one too many desserts. Move on, Michael. Never trust a woman who wastes baked goods, or fouls a cake with violence.
Over on the other side of crazy, Darcey is heading to Albania to throw her dank vacation away for more reasons to cry. On the way to the airport, Darcy primes Tom about Stacey and Florian: “He proposed to her the first trip, and this is my first trip, sooo OMG IS THAT A PROPOSAL?”
After they land, Stacey sends a text message letting Darcy know she plans to humiliate her. Darcey needs the right shoe for this, so she spreads her luggage out like a sidewalk trunk show. As Tom marvels at the emphasis on footwear for a meal taking place while sitting down, Darcy reminisces on Jesse’s squire haircut, which led to her giving a fuck what her sister thinks. Despite Stacey’s insistence on meeting at a restaurant and not the hotel, Stacey is late, so Tom moves from pink drinks to red, which is an expression of British rage, along with pursing lips and insisting you’re fine.
40 minutes later, around the time most of us would have bounced, Darcey is making apology expressions at Tom when Smug Stacey saunters in with her Albanian boytoy and Darcey’s Thursday outfit. Tom is unimpressed and takes his white gloves off, and is happy to point out that this isn’t Downton Fucking Abbey, and he’s not afraid to, as they say on Love Island, “take the piss.”
He pulls his rage ripcord with: “Don’t mind that I’ve sat here for like nine hours waiting!” Oh wait, that was the passive-aggressive zipline, so I guess this isn’t a Guy Ritchie movie either.
In fairness to Tom, it is customary to apologize when you’re obnoxiously late, but Smug Stacey did that shit on purpose. When you have siblings, you learn that some people are strategists, some rule by brute force, and some play dead. Stacey opts for condescension and blanket manipulation. I kind of admire that in a serial killer.
“Four years ago you started your cute little vision board with all your adorable tries at life, and it’s almost sort of trying to come true. Remember that Prince Charming ambition you had?” says Smug Stacey.
Darcy cries: “Why do you always wrap curses in compliments like a southern lady sipping sweet tea?”
“Bless your heart,” retorts Stacey, sipping her glass of blood.
“Did somebody say southern? TOO MANY WIMMIN, MICHAEL!” Angela, get out of here.
Later, Darcey and Stacey are taking their rivalry all the way to the set of Mean Girls 65: Social Security. Snarling at each other from across the van, Darcy isolates a riveting topic to explore and square their respective mates for battle.
“Would you fight for me,” Darcy purrs at Tom from eighth grade.
“I’ve never fought for a woman,” replies Tom from thrice-divorced 40, his ankle still smarting from his last ass-beating from Darcey.
“Would YOU fight for me?” Smugs Stacy, tapping out the appropriate response in Morse code with a Maleficent nail.
“I would chew a strangers balls before the eye gouge, my love,” responds Florian.
The rivalry van takes them to a lovely spot in Albania: a bridge with some water that was probably painted by Thomas Kincaid. Tom says he understands why Florian thought it was a good place to propose. Big mistake, Tom. You know you can’t say that word when Darcy is within a hundred miles.
Lots of other exciting stuff happens, like Darcey and Stacey bitching about each other’s hair, and talking about the plastic surgeon and midlife crisis they have in common.
Stacey: I’m not trying to one-up you when I one up you.
Darcey: Yes you are a one-upper!
Tom: I’m British.
Darcey: Cries.
Florian: It’s good.
Tom: If I pick you up in a manly fashion, can this be over?
Shaun: Let’s move on.
Tim’s manicured eyebrows are back to make us sleepy, as he daydreams about his no-sex baby with Jeniffer. He swears he hasn’t been drunk-doused before, but I think he’s familiar with the cold soak of a rage baptism. His plans for recovering from the drink toss includes meeting Jennifer and Violet on a playground to talk about his Columbian girlfriend punch card. He flashes back to the last girlfriend, when his hair was bleach blonde and his private plane was tiny, and when Sears Portrait Studio still offered the deluxe package with two 8X10s. Jennifer and Tim are both willing to move forward to new portraits, so they proceed to function as a tourism brochure for Columbia, with spectacular views of endless green country, and another opportunity for Jennifer to call Tim a baby. Jennifer considers that they are both broken from the past, and don’t know how to love each other. What’s wisdom doing on this show?
Enter Avery to save us from smart! At the hotel room, Avery’s mom Terri bounces Omar so she can try to find the functioning part of her daughter’s brain. “There’s got to be something in there besides Twilight novels,” Terri prays. But Avery knows that if she doesn’t make this hasty decision, she’ll never find another way to say “bite me” to her mom.
“If he wanted somebody to get a visa, he could have got somebody to get a visa,” Captain Self-Awareness blurts.
“HE DID GET SOMEBODY!” Why fire one shot Terri, when you’re holding an AK-57?
“Well WE don’t have to live in America,” Avery fires back. “Later when I tell you I’m moving to Syria, you’ll think you drove me to this. Ha!”
Terri pushes Avery to consider that Omar’s career as an almost-periodontist will not guarantee safe passage, but Avery won’t stand for all this rational thought in her Sweet Valley High novel. She storms out into the hotel wild and knocks on his door, saying, “Habibi!” This means we’re definitely not going to see him again until next episode.
Avery insists she’s unconcerned by this and would be fine living in Lebanon (which is no longer taking Syrian refugees) or fine living in Malaysia (where Syrian refugees are not welcome) or Dubai (might have a shot with that one). Avery continues to think the “risk” Terri is referencing is that he’s using her, because she did not bring the Google with her in that tiny purse.
Are you wondering about Fake Cesar? Me neither, but the producers need to milk their money’s worth out of this non-plot. Maria is a no-show, and finally ends her ruse relationship via phone call. Fake Cesar displays an impressive level of rehearsed denial, while Fake Maria asserts that she wants out of this plot line. She dismisses his pretend financial sacrifice as his problem, and Cesar tries to reroute towards emotional blackmail. Maria reads the part of the script where she talks about meeting in the next life or something, and Cesar continues his involved relationship with the producers.
In Kenya, Akinyi is crying, because her brother said something bad about Benji. Was it about the laugh? You can tell us if it was about the laugh. After learning Fidel was talking trash, Benji could have gone to Fidel and asked what happened. The direct approach is risky, but standing there like melting butter isn’t exactly working out. “I’ll just accept blame and wait for change,” Ben mumbles, marbles rolling out of his mouth.
Benji retreats to Akinyi’s brother’s house, where he recreates a scene from The Omen, complete with heavily bookmarked hymnal and pasty humans rocking back and forth. Note to Christians: if you choose to rock a hymn alone in your future family’s house, maybe pick something with fewer references to the blood of Jesus.
Akinyi texts him and asks him to meet her downstairs. She is extremely upset, and tells Benji that her brother told her that she brought shame to the family, and that’s why her father didn’t show up. After she’s done talking, he tries to force her to talk more, and like many people who don’t fucking listen, Benji insists that she needs to “learn to communicate better.” There is nothing mysterious about what she communicated. She said: 1.) this happened, and 2.) I am upset, and don’t want to talk about it anymore. If you force another person to talk when they don’t want to, Benji, then YOU have the communication problem. LET’S MOVE ON, SHAUN.
Next week, Darcy is given full clinger status by Tom (which is gleefully celebrated by Stacey), Rebecca’s PI friend cracks the case, Angela continues to pretend to break up with Michael, and Benji fears that Akinyi’s dad has more Holy Spirit than he does.
To read more of my blather or just to support this particular blather: http://Patreon.com/Fractalfay
submitted by fractalfay to 90DayFiance [link] [comments]


2019.07.13 22:43 Lvircouple84 35/34 (MW4MW/M/F) Local couple looking for an ongoing friendship

Ideally we would like to find a couple that we could hang out with and go on couples dates with while occasionally swapping partners when the opportunity presents itself. We're not too picky as we are just your average semi attractive couple that likes to check out the occasional show, movie, concert, go bowling, or even just hang out at home. Preferably you would be near our age as well.
As far as single guys, we would love for her to have a semi regular boytoy (think once a month or every other month.) You should be 24-40, in decent shape to fit, decent to good looking, and very well hung. If you aren't 7+ but happen to be super thick, you'll still be considered. Being able to host and open to receiving occasional light bi oral also will improve your chances.
Single girls, we're not holding our breath lol.
Please send a few pics and a few sentences and we'll go from there!
https://imgur.com/a/PWPjs
https://imgur.com/a/wkWgCXL
submitted by Lvircouple84 to vegasr4r [link] [comments]


2019.04.18 09:04 tacoma_witt Hotwifing not for her, but for me?

When my wife and I met online, we spent a good amount of time discussing sex. Our past experiences, our bucket list items, and our kinks or fetishes. I was open that I loved the idea of my partner having other partners. This usually took the form of threesomes, but I was open that if we were separate for a lengthy period she could have a lover. She never took it seriously; when the relationship was new, she didn’t want to develop feelings for another guy.
Fast forward a few years and we’d done some MFMs and one full swap. The full swap was terrible and put a big damper on the sex life for a nine month period. Earlier this year, she asked me to help her create a profile on fetlife to help find thirds for us play with together. She later told me she wanted to create the profile, because of our sex downturn. As she was talking with various men, she decided that the first meet would be solo, so I wouldn’t distract her and she could evaluate the guy on her own. We discussed and allowed for the probability that some action would occur (kissing, oral; no sex).
Well she found out that this really REALLY turned me on. And we had some amazing sex during this time when she was evaluating men. Sometimes three or four times a day; morning, noon, and night. While she enjoyed the extra sex, she was concerned that it only occurred because she was hotwifing. I told her it was one of my deepest kinks and that yeah it got me super hard, super often.
She had a meetup while I was at work today. I was, typically, amped up and excited and full of questions. She was not in the mood, so I cooled it. He came by and by all accounts she had an “ok” time. It was during his lunch break, so it was quick (which I prefer, not a fan of her spending three hours with a boytoy). And she sent me pictures and videos, which is my request to her when she plays without me. We have amazing sex afterward. My dick is great for her. Not too big, good thickness. She’s not after BBC.
She’s having fun, the sex is usually good. But she has about three or five guys that she’s talks to regularly and it’s draining for her. It’s hard work she says (and I believe her). Soooo, my problem is she’s never that excited about it (at least to me). I am always way more excited than she is. I get the feeling she’s mostly doing it because it turns me on. And I’m not sure if that’s ok.
Am I being selfish? Am I overthinking? Should I live the dream while it lasts?
(I’ll post the pictures and video from today on Monday evening; which is when I have time to chat and answer comments)
submitted by tacoma_witt to CuckoldPsychology [link] [comments]


2018.11.25 20:20 ThreatdownThrowaway 37 [M4F] Attractive man searching for female keyholder (Michigan)

I'm currently experimenting with chastity part-time, but I think this would be a whole lot more fun with a partner. Looking to negotiate a keyhole arrangement with a woman interested in controlling my sex life. I'm generally not very submissive but the idea of giving away my sexual release to a woman appealing. Good opportunity for a woman with a dominant streak and a desire for a part-time boytoy. Please message me if interested. (No chat) Thanks
submitted by ThreatdownThrowaway to Bsdmpersonals [link] [comments]


2018.02.15 04:14 aretheyaliens Theory: men want replacement mothers, women want replacement fathers in relationships

First of all, before you get all weirded out and think I'm channeling Freud here, I'm referring specifically to emotional energies and styles in relationships.
I think a lot of guys, particularly the "nice guy" type wants to emulate aspects of the relationship they have or want with their mother in a romantic relationship. They want unconditional love, emotional support without criticism, home cooked meals, and to still be wanted even if they don't put in their own weight in the relationship, by being a provider (be it financially, by being a good listener, doing some of the housework, etc).
I don't think most women want any such guy. In fact I highly suspect they find men with such inclinations repulsive. I think most women want a man who emulates many of the qualities they would value in a father. A man that has his own opinions, is self-sufficient, and caring, but not needy or excessively affectionate. Women don't feel protective and mushy towards men, the way they do towards animals and children. They want men to protect them and their love is not puppy love, but honor and reverence.
Both sexes ultimately have a selfish component to their love and want to be served, but it's easy to see that women's desire is quite a bit healthier. Of course the healthiest would probably be equal partners who just enjoy time together, but in reality there's usually someone wearing the pants in a relationship.
Moral of the story: I think men and women tend to love the opposite sex in different ways. Usually the healthiest relationships are when the man (or the top, the stud, etc) successfully fulfills their partner's desire for a strong, "father-like" partner. I'm not knocking cougar-boytoy type relationships if they're loving and healthy, but I think they're very uncommon. I mean even famous examples like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher - we're talking about two mature, very successful people whose major difference is age. I don't think Demi would want some man-child.
submitted by aretheyaliens to BattleOfTheSexes [link] [comments]


2018.01.08 20:00 daddysgrip [M4A] Two stories, one world

The Game
I'm looking for something a bit different and unique, but something that could be very interesting and fun. (also down for short term smut if the idea is interesting enough)
I'm looking to play a character in a world that you would also play a character in. We'd share 'GM'ing for each other, and each post would consist of you playing your character and you playing the world opposite mine, in the same way novels follow two characters who converge time to time.
So for example, a post from myself might look like:
I grab her and push her against the wall, dragging my tongue over her neck possessively.....(more details etc. until I have a good post).
You step into the locker room and notice a few girls already undressing, Ali waves and smiles, her breasts rocking ridiculously as she's half out of her bra, "Heyyy girl what's up?".....(more details as GM).
Our characters would have some connection that allows us to cross paths, and when we did, we'd rp as normal, collaborating on any other characters and the world until we separated again.
The World
I want to write a somewhat campy roleplay where sex is rampant. Think Jab comix rampant. Here's a few snapshots of their comics to see what I mean by 'rampant' It's literally sex every few pages for 4 or 5 pages, usually. Jab does a lot of incest, which is optional. I enjoy it, but if it's not your thing then no big deal.
Mom's friends finds cute boytoy
Daddy's girl
When your daughter gets that REALLY good discount on the vacuum
Watch the baby while I talk to your boyfriend, sweetie
You know what happens to sluts when they get caught?
Just a ride to my friend's house, sir
Daddy's such a beast that the sisters share
When the cousins just want to show off their treehouse
There's ALWAYS another way to pay
The Setting
I'm pretty flexible here so if you have an idea you'd love, ship it my way. Otherwise I can make some suggestions and we can figure it out. Modern: Maybe we're a fathedaughter combo who fuck each other and everything in town. Fantasy: Perhaps we're two wizards in a school, war, or just traveling on a flying ship. Sci-Fi: Do we seek out a new homeworld on a scouting mission, or perhaps we're space scavengers who hunt wrecks and ruins for booty and credits.
Kinks and notes
What I need from you
Bare minimum: a willingness to play. We can discuss details if you LOVE the idea and just don't know what to do.
Beyond that a character, setting, and what you like and dislike in an RP
I'm okay with characters as young as 10, no furries, please (sexy aliens, monsters, catgirls, etc are fine).
submitted by daddysgrip to u/daddysgrip [link] [comments]


2017.11.23 15:45 kevin32 [43F] Carol is done with boytoys and flings, and is now looking for her "life partner". But at the 3:20 mark, she will not consider the men in her friendzone.

submitted by kevin32 to WhereAreAllTheGoodMen [link] [comments]


2017.11.16 16:01 ncoparentugh [HELP] BM(35F) introduced [yet another] new boyfriend(22M) of 6 weeks and told SS(7M) to lie to my husband and I about it.

I am choosing to post here because I follow this sub on my regular account and everyone here is so supportive.
A little background: DH & BM have been divorced for 5 years (separated for 8 months prior to the final divorce date). They have 50/50 joint custody of SS (every other week). BM left DH for a 19 year old (she was 29). Introduced SS during the separation immediately and lied about it. That relationship ended 5 days before the final divorce date. She moved into her parents' basement where she does not have to pay rent or utilities and has her parents as live-in babysitters. Since then she has had upwards of 20 "relationships" (not counting regular Tinder hookups and men she calls her "boytoys") and each one she states is her new "soulmate". Longest one lasted 1 year and ended when she demanded he sell his house and move into her parents' basement with her. She has introduced 5 men to SS in a 5 year period. EDIT: BM is also a diagnosed narcissist with bi-polar disorder.
BM has been dating BF(22M) for approximately 6 weeks. He is her new "soulmate" as expected and she believes he is "the one" because he has "treated her better than any man has ever treated her before". These are all things we've heard in the past about every potential relationship.
After the 1 year relationship ended, she agreed via text that she would wait 6 months after dating a new man to introduce SS. She has never once committed to this. She instead lies about how long she knows them, or in this case, introduced him and told SS to lie to us about it. We found out BF was going to be attending Thanksgiving and had asked him if he met any of "Mommy's new friends" and that is when he told us. The BF slept over her house for 5 nights in a row and SS was told, "don't tell Daddy because he will make a mess of it." This is the second time she has had SS lie to us. The first was when she had SS sleeping over at the 1-year-guy's house at the beginning of that relationship.
SS gets extremely attached to these boyfriends upon first meeting. Although he doesn't remember the first one, there are photos of him sitting and snuggling him. It took him over a year to stop asking if he would see 1-year-guy again. There was another which was a 5 month relationship where BM told SS that his kids were "his new brothers" and he still to this day talks about them despite that relationship ending a year and a half ago. After telling us the truth about BF, he immediately got sad, said BF was nice, and asked "does this mean I don't get to see BF again?"
DH has asked BM to talk and she is skirting him. She is "busy", "sleeping", "working", or doesn't respond. We are considering hiring a lawyer on retainer and CC'ing him on an email to her regarding all of this. The reason being that this is a regular occurrence and we can then have it all documented. We have read that it is possible to have an amendment to the custody agreement to protect SS, stating something to the effect of:
Both parents agree to a six-month dating period before inviting anyone to sleep over while [child] is at that Parent's residence. Each Parent is free to introduce [child] to potential partners in a manner that he/she believes will protect [child] from forming relationships that may not be permanent (e.g. referring to the person as "mommy's friend" and treating the person as such in front of the [child]).
Any and all advice welcome. Thank you for reading.
submitted by ncoparentugh to stepparents [link] [comments]